


Gorgeous

by NympheSama



Category: Endless Summer (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst, Developing Relationship - despite Taylors best efforts to avoid FEELINGS, Dysfunctional Relationship, Dysfunctional Relationships, Emotional Hurt, Jake being Jake, M/M, Romance, Sort of song fic, Taylor trying to resist Jake, unhealthy relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-10
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2020-02-29 12:49:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 31,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18778618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NympheSama/pseuds/NympheSama
Summary: Taylor's on vacation with his boyfriend, hoping to mend the growing distance in their relationship. Unfortunately, his boyfriend seems to have other ideas; and Taylor finds himself drawn instead to someone else.Will he have it in him to resist the pull of the magnetic stranger? Or will they give into the temptation?





	1. It's In Your Eyes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [winchesteenwolf](https://archiveofourown.org/users/winchesteenwolf/gifts).



> Er, hi!
> 
> Thiiiiis was supposed to be a one shot  
> But I'm too excited  
> I absolutely LOVE how this has turned out so far and I wanted to share it with you asap because... well, because.  
> Thanks assbutt - I wouldn't have got this idea out of my head if not for your input about the song with the Jaylor feels (forever ago I know - but I hope I did it justice so far)
> 
> Hope you all enjoy - PLEASE let me know what you think because goddamn, this idea is just... well anyway, I'm working on more already just, please. Feedback is key.
> 
> x My love to you all x

**Gorgeous.**

**1**

Taylor sucked in a slow, deep breath. He smiled as he stepped through the plane door, gazing out at the tropical island before him with a growing sense of giddiness in his heart. He trotted down the stairs on the balls of his feet, eager to go everywhere, to do and see everything he could before having to fly home in a weeks time. He turned back to the plane, his smile faltering briefly, before brightening again, as he watched his boyfriend descend the stairs from the plane. _This is our chance to fix things..._ He thought, drawing in another deep breath to steady himself, before slowly approaching his partner. “Hey... isn’t it beautiful?” He asked quietly, raising his hand and gently laying it on his boyfriends shoulder.

“It’s a sight alright...” His partner replied, glancing around with a small frown. “Gonna be a tonne of bugs in them jungles though.” He said, gesturing to the tree line ahead of them. “I can’t wait to see this hotel they were bragging about... we can catch some rays by the pool, then tonight we can hit up the bar.” They said, turning away to find their luggage.

“Y-yeah...” Taylor said quietly, his heart sinking despite his best efforts to remain cheerful. He sighed tiredly, running a hand through his hair as he watched his partner look through the small luggage bay for their things. He wrapped his arms around himself, thinking back to the near constant arguments they’d started having four months before. After spending a year building a life together, Taylor didn’t want to think it would end so abruptly. He’d tried to adapt, backing down from fights he knew he couldn’t win, despite the acidic taste the gesture would leave in his mouth. _But, this is our chance... to fix things._ He thought again, telling himself he believed his own words.

There was only one small kink in his plan to fix his relationship; and it chose that particular moment in time, to step into the plane doorway. Taylor scowled at the way his heart skipped a beat, guilt gnawing at his stomach just as his teeth gnawed at his lip, his eyes drawn to the pilot of their flight despite his best efforts to resist the other man’s pull. Sandy hair fell in a curtain to just above his shoulders, the longest strands just brushing the top of a dirty green army jacket. With a crooked smile which Taylor refused to admit, made him feel weak at the knees, what appeared to be a permanent five o'clock shadow and piercing cerulean eyes; the man was everything Taylor knew he shouldn’t want anything to do with. Trouble, with a capital tee and several exclamation points. Despite knowing this, he’d found it hard to concentrate when they’d been introduced, blinking distractedly when the man’s honeyed southern drawl had caressed his ears.

Taylor noticed the pilot’s gaze drift towards him, a near arrogant smirk playing on his lips as he crossed his legs and leaned against the doorway, while throwing Taylor a cocky wink. Taylor sniffed and casually turned his attention away from the man, pretending not to hear the quiet huff of amusement which escaped him, as his own skin began to burn. “Hey, come on...” He called to his partner, forcing the pilot from his thoughts as he smiled tightly and offered to carry his own bag. “Let’s go check out that hotel, yeah?” He said, his smile softening as his boyfriend curled his arm around his shoulders and pulled him into his side. As they followed the group up the dirt path which led from the small airstrip to the hotel, Taylor resisted the urge to turn around, focusing instead on the comfort and normality of his partners arm around his shoulders and the hope that they would find a way to fix whatever spark they seemed to have lost.

Several hours later, he was sat at the poolside bar by himself, frowning as he slowly rotated a near empty colourful cocktail in his hands. It hadn’t been the first drink of his evening, and he was certainly expecting that it would not be his last.“If ya tryin’ to magic more drink into that, ya goin’ about it the wrong way.” Drawled an amused voice from beside him, the southern accent causing him to blink dazedly as he slowly struggled free of his thoughts. “Damn, what the hell? Place like this ain’t for faces like that, Boy Scout.” The newcomer huffed, gliding onto a bar stool three seats down from Taylor, as he shook his head to clear it of the lingering darkness and finally turned towards them. “Penny for ya thoughts?” They asked, as Taylor’s brows rose in surprise.

“Huh?” He asked, tensing briefly as he recognised the pilot, before his expression melted into a frown of confusion. “Wait, Boy Scout?” He muttered, blinking as he shook his head and snorted, tossing back the last of his drink and rolling the empty glass between his palms slowly. “I have a name, you know.” He mumbled, sighing as he glanced at the clock at the back of the bar.

“What, ya don’t like it?” The pilot asked, flashing Taylor a cocky grin as he snorted and shook his head. “Huh, well... tough. No changin’ a nickname once it’s given. ‘S in the rules and everythin’.” He said, smirking when Taylor chuckled despite his best efforts not to. “See? Ain’t so bad really, definitely not as bad as some of the nicknames I’ve given to some people. Ya should’ve seen Hatchet Face.” He said lightly, leaning his elbows on the bar as he peered over at Taylor while he snickered to himself quietly.

“’Oh, lookit me, I’m gonna nickname ya ‘cause I’m a lazy bastard and can’t be assed to learn ya name! Hyuk, hyuk, hyuk!’” He drawled mockingly, glancing at the pilot from the corner of his eye to see him beaming a huge grin at him. “And just what kinda accent is that anyway, Top Gun?” He asked, his brow furrowing as he tried to work through the vague haze of alcohol he’d consumed to pinpoint the other mans southern accent.

“Top Gun?” The pilot repeated, raising a brow in confusion, until Taylor snorted and gestured to the dog tags which hung around his neck; glittering atop a plain black t-shirt. “Ah... heh, smart.” He admitted, before casting Taylor a glance which was torn between frustration and amusement. “Ya know ya can’t be goin’ round givin’ nicknames. That’s my thing.” He protested lightly, smirking as Taylor rolled his eyes and feigned a thoughtful expression.

“Hmm, I don’t know...” Taylor hummed, gripping his empty glass carefully in one hand as he spread his palms innocently. “I think I like it... might have to keep doing it.” He said, hissing through his teeth playfully, before snorting and dropping his head briefly, his hands coming together around his glass once again. “But you’re deflecting. C’mon, mister savvy pilot, accent boy. Where ya from?” He drawled mockingly, snickering to himself as he shook his head.

“... Louisiana.” The pilot replied at length, seeming to examine Taylor for a long heartbeat; though Taylor pretended not to notice, feigning interest in his empty glass. “Town so small, it ain’t even on the map. Ya wouldn’t know it.” He said quietly, raising a brow as he turned to lean one arm against the bar and ran his eyes over Taylor curiously. “Ya insult everyone who comes ask if ya alright?” He asked, his clear cerulean gaze seeming to pierce straight through Taylor; his treacherous heart catching on a beat. “Or did I just get lucky?”

“I’m not insulting you, per say...” Taylor protested, chuckling as he shifted his weight on his seat and finally looked at the other man fully, feeling a playful smirk curl his lips despite his best efforts to resist. “You should take it as a compliment!” He snickered, laughing at the other man as he raised his brow curiously. “That I got drunk and made fun of the way you talk!” He explained, rolling his eyes as he snorted and lowered his eyes back to his empty glass, rolling it between his palms as he debated the foolishness of another drink or calling it a night already.

“Huh, well maybe ya oughta think about the consequence,” the pilot replied quietly, startling Taylor from his thoughts as the other man sidled along the bar slightly, his elbow brushing Taylor’s snugly. “Of your magnetic field being a little too strong...” He murmured, as Taylor burst out laughing at the cryptic comment, trying hard to bite back his rising interest in the other man. “Hey, it weren’t that bad! C’mon, gimme credit where it’s due here. Ya ain’t exactly what I’d class as friendly, ya know?” The pilot huffed, the hint of a pout hovering at the corners of his lips, though his eyes lit with an undeniable sense of victory.

“Yes, actually... it really was that bad.” Taylor snorted, smiling even as he drew in a deep breath to try and steady the dangerous flutter of his heart. He cleared his throat, his words catching on the large lump which had formed as he looked back up at the pilot hesitantly. “And besides which... I got a boyfriend.” He forced himself to say, his gut clenching at the distinct crack in his voice. “H-he's uh, he’s older than us.” He said awkwardly, gesturing between himself and the man who was far too close, far too kind and far too handsome for Taylor to deal with objectively, given his state of intoxication. The pilot began to laugh, a deep rumbling purr which Taylor couldn’t help but smile at as he chuckled along with the other man, not entirely certain why his relationship status would be so amusing to someone who didn’t know him. _Probably because even he can see it’s a joke at this point._ He thought, though there was no bitter aftertaste to the idle musing; his head delightfully fuzzy from the amount of alcohol he’d already consumed.

“Oh geez, Boy Scout...” The pilot laughed, shaking his head as he eyed Taylor with fond amusement. Taylor was vaguely aware that this was the opposite of the response he’d been hoping for, but he couldn’t quite bring himself to warn the other man off any further, eyeing his crooked grin with a dangerous warmth blossoming in his gut. “Ya go straight for the kill, don’t ya?” He snickered, patting his chest as if he had something lodged in his throat. “And what makes ya think ya know how old I am? What if I’m older than ya hot shot, lover man?”

“I... uh,” Taylor hesitated, frowning as he examined the pilot thoughtfully for a brief moment. “Huh, I just assumed you were the same age as me...” He said, snorting when the pilot smirked and shook his head. “Wait, how do you know how old I am? Maybe I’m even older than you, mister... stupid, accent man.” He scoffed, wrinkling his nose as the pilot laughed at him again.

“I’m ninety eight percent positive ya ain’t over twenty four yet,” the man said, winking as he seated himself fully on the seat beside Taylor, leaning in conspiratorially as his eyes danced with mischief. “And that means, I already got ya beat.” He added quietly, smirking when Taylor snorted and scooted slightly further down the bar.

“Okay then, Grandpa, that explains why your hearing seems to be failing you at least.” Taylor snickered, ignoring the tiny part of his heart which screamed at him for the distance he tried to create between them. “Because I’m pretty sure I just told you, I have a boyfriend. That’s not some universal code for ‘come closer’ you know.” He drawled, eyeing the other man with a mixture of curiosity and wariness.

The pilot snorted playfully, grinning as he held up his palms and moved back to where he’d been leaning against the bar. “There, better now, Boy Scout?” He asked, rolling his eyes when Taylor smiled brightly and nodded with some exaggeration. He snorted as he crossed his ankles and cocked his head, narrowing his eyes slightly despite the fact that his easy smile never faltered. “What..? It ain’t one of them fucked up relationships, where ya ain’t even allowed to have friends or talk to other guys, is it?” He asked, a deceptive edge to his words as he watched Taylor grimace and roll his own eyes.

“No.” He lied lightly, firmly casting aside the memories of his best friend which tried to surface, longing raging in his heart as he thought of the void like silence which had stretched on between them for too long now. _I can call him while I’m out here... tell him I took his advice about the holiday, go from there._ He thought distractedly, before forcing the entire topic of Diego from his head, instead glancing across at the pilot and throwing him a lopsided smirk. “He's in the club doing... pfft, I don't know what, actually.” He scoffed, shaking his head as he lowered his gaze, his fingers curling tightly around his empty glass. “So that alone, shows that we operate on trust and... and stuff. I just, I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page here, Top Gun.”

“Boy Scout, I ain’t sure we’re even readin’ the same book.” The pilot snorted, drawing a reluctant laugh from Taylor as he looked back up in exasperation, his expression lit by his amusement. “I ain’t some hound, gonna bug ya for attention ya ain’t lookin’ to give...” He continued, eyeing Taylor thoughtfully for a moment, before narrowing his eyes briefly. “But it just seemed a shame for ya to be drinkin’ on ya own. This boyfriend fella ya got don’t seem too smart, if he’s leavin’ someone as... well, don’t bite my head off or anythin’ but,” he said, pausing to suck in a deep breath as if for courage. “If he’s leavin’ someone as ridiculously hot as you to drink on ya own, while he’s partyin’ in that shitty excuse of a club they got up there, well... he’s two planks short of the full deckin’.” He said quietly, his sincerity clear in the soft cerulean of his eyes.

Taylor bit his lip and quickly lowered his eyes to his hands, able to feel the furious blush spreading across his cheeks but unable to do a thing to stop it. _When was the last time I got a compliment like that, just because?_ He wondered, his breath quickening as he tried and failed to control the his rising temperature. _Who does this guy think he is? Just... just complimenting random people like that! And he knows that I... that I have a-!_ He thought haltingly, fanning his irritation as he glanced back at the other man briefly, though he was pleased to note he’d turned his attention away from Taylor to flag down the barman _. You're so cool, it makes me hate you so much_. He thought stubbornly, determined to smother the warm affection he’d felt bloom in his heart before it could fester _. I hate you so much_. He repeated in the safety of his own thoughts, desperately hoping it would be enough to stop himself from doing anything foolish; like become friends with the pilot.

The other man seemed to either be oblivious of Taylor’s inner turmoil, or to be determinedly ignoring it. “Whisky on ice,” he said to the bartender as they finally approached, before quickly reaching over and plucking Taylor’s empty glass from his hands before he could protest. He handed the glass to the barman, before gesturing back to Taylor. “Sunset and Vine.” He said, glancing over and winking at Taylor as he blinked in surprise and felt his blush return tenfold. “What? If there’s one thing I know about, it’s drinkin’... done enough bartendin’ to have a pretty good handle on what people like.” He said confidently, shrugging lightly as he turned back to the bartender and accepted the drinks.

Taylor blinked, his heart rising in his throat as he felt a rush of gratitude and affection for the other man. _You've ruined my life... by not being mine_. He thought, immediately hating himself for the selfishness of his thoughts, guilt gnawing at his stomach and making him feel nauseous. He gasped as he pushed back from the bar, stumbling to find his feet in his urgency to get away. “I-I’m sorry, I really... I uh,” he babbled, hitching his thumb over his shoulder as he averted his eyes; not wanting the other man to see through him as he already seemed to do so easily, while also not wanting to see for himself the confusion or hurt in the other mans clear eyes. “I have to be going.” He said, stepping away unsteadily. “I... I’m sorry.” He said, turning abruptly and beginning to hurry towards the hotel.

“No worries...” He heard the pilot reply quietly, a knowing resignation in his tone as he leaned against the bar and watched Taylor flee. “Hey, Boy Scout?” He called, just as Taylor’s hand reached for the lobby door. Despite his every intention to ignore the other man, Taylor found himself pausing, half glancing back over his shoulder to see the pilot watching him intently. The silence lingered for a tense moment, Taylor’s heart racing in his chest as he half hoped for the other man to call him back; and half cursed himself for enjoying his attention. “... see ya ‘round.” The pilot called, as Taylor looked back at him fully for a second, processing all the things he said with his intent gaze, without giving voice to the words. _I ain’t givin’ up. I’ll be here. Raincheck._

Taylor swallowed thickly, hesitating before giving a brief nod. The pilot smirked and threw him a rough, two fingered salute quickly, before Taylor threw open the door and hurried inside, racing away from the man who unwittingly set his heart and mind racing. He slowed to a walk as he made his way back to his room, his pulse slowly returning to normal as he ran a hand through his hair and exhaled a heavy, exasperated breath. “What the hell is wrong with me?” He muttered, dragging his hand down over his face as he used his free hand to dig out his room key. He opened the door to his suite, preparing to call out in greeting when the darkness of the room registered, and his heart sank as he stepped inside and kicked the door closed with his heel.

Taylor sighed, tossing his key on his bedside table and moving through the dark room to his small bathroom. He emerged some minutes later feeling refreshed but tired, and he groaned as he stripped out of his clothes and tossed them in a small hamper he’d brought with him. He glanced out the window as he passed, pausing when he caught sight of the poolside bar he’d spent most of the night frequenting. The pilot was still there, nursing his own drink as he leaned against the bar, ignoring a young guy trying to gain his attention as he instead chatted with the barman. _You're so gorgeous_... Taylor thought wistfully, startling himself and hurriedly looking away, able to feel the blush burning his cheeks despite knowing the other man would never know of his attraction. _But I can't ever say anything like that to your face, of course_. He thought sourly, shaking his head in frustration of his own thoughts. _I mean unless I wanted to start a fight; and that would really be a shame... 'Cause I mean, just look at your face_. He thought, tangling a hand in his short hair and tugging sharply, his face twisting into a grimace as he narrowed his eyes at the pilot.

“Urgh, I'm so furious at you...” He grumbled, scowling as he forced himself to look away, stepping away from the window and moving towards the bed slowly. “... for making me feel this way.” He added quietly, flopping down to the bed and curling his arms around a pillow, drawing it to his chest as his conflicted emotions churned within him. “But, what can I say?” He sighed, closing his eyes. In the safety and privacy of his own room, his lips twitched into a small smile as he drew his legs up to his chest and allowed himself to picture the face which he knew he shouldn’t. _You're gorgeous_.


	2. In The Lies We Tell Ourselves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiii ~
> 
> I have to be quick because I'm being skneaky ; )  
> hope you're all having awesome days - here's something I hope makes it even better <3  
> Please lemme know what you think; as you know by now I am an insecure little word ho <3 Thanks! <3
> 
> x My love to you all x

**Gorgeous.**

**2**

Taylor hummed to himself, finishing the final touch to an adventuring outfit which he’d bought before leaving home. He swung the coil of rope over his shoulders, turning to examine himself in the bedroom mirror, before breaking out in a wide smile and practically bouncing as he made his way towards the door. _This is gonna be so much fun!_ He thought, his stomach fluttering with excitement at the impending group activity which he’d signed himself and his boyfriend up for. _And, it gives us a chance to get a little close... maybe get some chemistry going._ He mused, though his brow creased slightly at the thought, his lively steps slowing to a less hurried pace as he tried to pinpoint why the thought of intimacy didn’t inspire the eager whisper in his heart that it once had. _Maybe... it’s just this weird distance thing._ He thought, thinking back over the previous months of arguing. _Maybe just taking this time away together is enough to show we both want to save this. That’s gotta mean something, right?_ He asked himself, worrying his lip as he came to a halt outside the elevator. He pressed the call button distractedly, jumping in his own skin when the bell dinged and the doors slid open for him.

“Get a grip, Taylor.” He muttered irritably, shaking his head and stepping into the elevator, heading down to the lobby and finally walking out into the warm sunshine which bathed the pool area. He sucked in a deep breath, biting his cheek as he spotted the familiar form of his boyfriend, stretched out in a lounger beside the pool and soaking up the sun. His brow furrowed, and he slowly made his way towards the other man, his eyes darting to the obvious tan line forming along the edges of his speedo’s. “Hey,” Taylor called as he approached, attempting a warm smile as he perched on the edge of his partners lounger. “Looking good, hot stuff...” He said lightly, gently tracing his finger over the faint white mark forming around the speedo’s waistband. “I hope you put some cream on.” He teased, smiling as his boyfriend rolled his head towards him and grinned brightly.

“Yeah babe, I’m just right.” He said, drawing in a deep breath and sighing contently, his hand drifting down to Taylors and closing gently around his finger, stilling its restless movements. “That tickles.” He said quietly, pushing up his sunglasses with his free hand as he ran his eyes over Taylor, his brow furrowing slightly in confusion. “What’s with the getup? You looking to enter that costume contest thingy?” He asked, gesturing to the poster on the distant wall of the hotel lobby.

Taylor tensed, his heart skipping a beat as his gut coiled with dread and a growing slither of expectation. “No... we were gonna go with the hiking tour today, remember? Maybe... do some rock climbing?” He pressed gently, his hand slipping free of his partners as his boyfriend groaned and rolled his head to the opposite side of the lounger. “I was coming to see if you wanted to get changed... I got you some clothes ready. It starts in-“ he said in a rush, his throat constricting and finally choking his own words off as his boyfriend sighed dramatically.

“Babe, c’mon...” He complained, looking back at Taylor with his mouth twisted by a grimace. “This is the one chance we have to just chill out and catch some sun. Soon as we go back home, it’s back to the grindstone. All work and no play, you know? I just, I wanna take some time to de-stress, yeah?” He said, as Taylor swallowed thickly and averted his face away, partly to hide the tears which stung his eyes and partly due to the bile he felt crawling up his throat. “C’mon, babe... don’t do the face.” His boyfriend sighed, rolling his eyes as he grit his teeth for a long moment of thought. “Okay, fine... look, how about we go tomorrow, huh?”

Taylor remained silent for several seconds, his arms curling around his chest as if to prevent it from falling apart. Finally he stood, his eyes stinging, his throat constricting and his heart aching, as he shook his head and tried to prevent his grief from showing. “... That’s what you said yesterday.” He said tightly, his voice almost betraying the pain he felt as it cracked beneath the strain of his sense of loss. “And the day before that.” He added, swallowing thickly as he shook his head and glanced away, refusing to allow his stinging eyes to shed the threatening tears.

“Babe,” his boyfriend said sharply, his tone hardening as his body tensed defensively. “Don’t start, yeah?” He said firmly, lifting his sunglasses briefly to glare at Taylor with obvious frustration. He glanced around the area, as Taylor scoffed and turned his back on his partner. “This is supposed to be chill time, I’m _trying_ to chill. So, just don’t start-“

“I’m not _starting_... I’m just disappointed.” He said curtly, gritting his teeth as he bit out the words, trying to trample the frustration he felt as he looked around the pool area with mounting resentment. “You promised me, we’d do this. Together.” He said, unable to keep the hurt from his tone, as he ran a hand through his hair in frustration. “All you’ve wanted since we got here, is to laze by the damn pool and party at the stupid club...” He said bitterly, swallowing thickly as he stood stiffly, facing the hotel as he bit his lip and tried to force down the bitter sense of loneliness he felt. “There’s more to this island, to life, than just laying around on some...” He bit out, pausing as he turned to glare at his partner, who he found in the middle of rolling his eyes. Taylor flinched, his heart aching dully at the noticeable disinterest from the man who’d once seemed to cherish him and his opinions.

Taylor turned abruptly, storming back into the hotel before he could be called back, his heart lurching at the sense of rejection which flooded through him in waves. He choked on his own breath, about to head back to their room, only to be further distressed by the thought of wasting yet another glorious day by sulking in his room. Instead he quickly averted his course, hurrying through the main entrance and down the steps to the dirt path which had led them to the hotel; his heart racing as he stalked away from the hotel and the tangle of the problems which waited for him within. He followed the path at a brisk pace, foolishly trying to outrun his own thoughts; and failing miserably, as they followed after him like a haunting ghost. _Stupid, stupid... stupid._ He fumed silently, cursing himself for ever believing that something so trivial as a holiday would somehow prove a miraculous cure for the various issues which had arisen in his relationship. He sighed as he finally began to slow his steps, his frustration causing his eyes to sting as he shook his head and glanced around.

Taylor hesitated, spying the airstrip a short ways further down the path. He frowned, narrowing his eyes to a squint in an attempt to decipher whether the confusing pilot were there. He’d managed to successfully avoid the other man for two entire days; and was in no particular rush to once more put himself in the position where he welcomed the man’s attention. As flattering as it was to feel wanted and appreciated again, he didn’t want to place himself directly in temptations path. “Hmm...” He hummed thoughtfully, unable to spot the familiar green jacket or long sandy hair, but deciding not to take the risk of walking too close. _Just incase._ He told himself, as he cast his eyes to the jungle on his opposite side, toying with the idea of entering the lush vegetation, before brushing the idea aside as idiocy. “Last thing I need is to end up lost out here, especially on my own.” He huffed, running his hand through his hair as he sucked in a deep breath, feeling his irritation melt away in the peace and quiet of the island. “Knowing my luck, mister stupidly handsome ‘oh, I’ve got me such a sexy southern accent, that you’ll barely be able to resist me,’ will be the one to find me...” He grumbled, kicking a pebble on the path as he idled a little further from the airstrip. “And then of course I would be all grateful, and then I’d just... I’d obviously have to kiss him. To say thanks. And that, would make me the shittiest boyfriend ever. So... yeah. Best to avoid that, uh... that whole scenario. Thing.” He said, clearing his throat and glancing at the trees beside him again.

Taylor paused mid-step, leaning back slightly to check he hadn’t seen wrong. Sure enough, just on the other side of the trees lining the path, he spotted a secluded beach which nobody seemed to have noticed. “Huh.” He huffed, redirecting his feet and carefully making his way through the trees, stepping out into a small area with no tourists, no cameras and no handsome, distracting pilots; which he took as a sign that the small beach was perfect for him to spend some time clearing out his bad mood and perhaps sort through his rats nest of conflicted emotions. He sighed, removing his shoes and rolling up his trousers, strolling forward in the warm sand with a small smile, slowly spreading across his face. _This is so much better than some dumb pool lounger..._ He thought scathingly, grimacing briefly before pushing all thoughts of his absent boyfriend from his mind. _Diego would love-_ The idle thought wiped the smile from his face like a physical slap, his heart lurching as he wondered what his friend might be up to; what he might have been doing over the past few months where they hadn’t been talking.

Taylor bit his lip, strolling down near to the shoreline and sitting on the sand, his toes barely grazed by the gentle lap of the warm waves of the sea. He pulled his phone from his pocket, slowly turning the device over in his hands as he swallowed past the thick lump which formed in his throat. _Will he even pick up?_ He wondered briefly, before shaking his head and scowling at his own foolishness. _Of course he’ll answer... if he’s able to, though god knows, I don’t deserve it._ He thought acidly, desperately trying to ignore the strong taste of bile at the back of his tongue. He sighed and looked up at the bright sky, such a vivid contrast to his darkening mood. _He’s too good of a person... he’d never brush me off like that._ He thought, wincing as he realised he was half hoping his friend wouldn’t answer; just so he wouldn’t have to face his own behaviour or apologise like he knew he needed to. “Okay... I can do this.” He said, sucking in a deep breath and holding it, as he unlocked his phone and scrolled through his contacts. He hesitated, his finger hovering over the call button as his breath escaped him in an explosive gust; finally mashing his finger to the button and closing his eyes as he raised the phone to his ear.

Taylor’s heart crashed in his chest, the sound of his own rapid pulse pounding in his ears, almost downing out the monotonous ring of his call being processed. The fingers of his free hand drummed against his knee restlessly, his eyes slowly opening as he peered up into the clear sky longingly. _Please..._ He thought, flinching at the damp trail which he felt glide over his cheek. _I’m sorry._ He thought, sucking in an unsteady breath as he reached up to wipe away the stray tear which had escaped him, frowning his wet fingers distractedly. Finally, the call went to Diego’s voicemail, and Taylor’s heart sank like it was weighed down with cement. His mouth opened, a witty comment waiting on his lips for the beep to signal he could begin his message; but when it came, he found that all he could force free, was a strained sound of distress. He quickly ended the call, dropping his phone onto the sand between his legs and burying his face in his hands; wondering how he could have been so stupid as to let things get so bad, and cursing himself for his lack of loyalty to his best friend since the age of four.

“Ya know, every time I see ya,” a honeyed drawl made Taylor start, a surprised yelp escaping him as he twisted around to stare at the trees behind him incredulously. “Ya lookin’ more and more miserable.” The pilot said, his expression carefully neutral as he leaned against a tall tree, his ankles and arms crossed as he ran his eyes over Taylor slowly. “I thought holidays to places like this were supposed to be fun and relaxin’... Ya know, make ya smile and give ya a reason to laugh. Least that’s what most people seem to do when they’re holidayin’.”

Taylor rolled his eyes, his shock fading as a faint sense of irritation swelled in his chest, turning his back to the other man as he faced the glimmering ocean once again. “Yeah, well... I’m not most people.” He sighed, his gaze turning distant as he stared at the horizon and wondered if he should really be so proud of such a fact anymore.

“Heh, no shit, Boy Scout.” The pilot snorted, shaking his head slightly and clicking his tongue as Taylor half turned and shot him a frustrated scowl over his shoulder. “I guessed that when I met ya at the airport.” He huffed, one corner of his lips rising into the very dangerous lopsided grin which made Taylor’s heart thud a little louder than he really thought was necessary. “I mean, I ain’t ever seen anyone turn that shade of red, let alone so quick before.” He said lightly, smirking when Taylor visibly tensed.

“Don’t you have someone else you can go and annoy?” Taylor demanded, forcing his lip to curl into a sneer, as he threw the pilot a dirty look over his shoulder. “Because incase you haven’t noticed, I’m actually kinda busy here. Thanks for checking on me and all, but I really just want-“ Taylor ranted, though he fell silent when the pilot rolled his eyes and stalked across the sand towards him, plonking himself down in a rough sprawl a short distance from Taylor.

“What ya want is someone to listen to ya troubles, stop ya havin’ to make that damn little pouty face all the time.” He commented breezily, chuckling when Taylor stubbornly bit his lip to keep from saying anything and glowered at him with obvious irritation. “Oh what, ya waitin’ for ya mister ‘pool or party’ boyfriend to call ya back? ‘Cause if ya gonna be doin’ the whole phone sex thing-“ he said, gesturing to Taylor’s phone before raising his palms in playful defence. He faltered and trailed off however, as he noticed Taylor’s furious expression fell away abruptly.

“No... no, we wouldn’t do that.” Taylor said quietly, shaking his head slowly as he exhaled a long and weary breath. He looked back up at the blue sky, his heart clenching with loneliness as his sense of isolation flared. He glanced across at the pilot briefly, a frustrating well of gratitude curling in his gut, when he saw the other man was pointedly looking down at the sand; giving him a moment to compose himself. The gesture seemed oddly perceptive for the otherwise cocky man, and Taylor couldn’t help but feel further frustrated by the rising desire he felt to break down and confess his entire soul crushingly depressing situation to him. Instead, he cleared his throat, looking down at his phone in the sand between his legs. “I... I was trying to call my best friend.” He said slowly, twisting his hands together in restless agitation. “We, uh... we haven’t spoken in awhile and, well... I don’t think he’s very happy with me.” He admitted guardedly, carefully choosing his every word as he peeked back over at the pilot, who was now watching him with an intense scrutiny. “He didn’t answer.” He said lowly, hiding the way his voice broke beneath the heavy weight of his guilt.

Taylor felt his heart race as silence hung heavily between himself and the pilot, who seemed to be digesting his words slowly.“What kinda time difference ya got between ya right now?” The other man finally asked quietly, his clear eyes searching Taylor’s dark gaze, as he turned towards him in surprise. “Heh, didn’t think ya considered that.” He snorted softly, gently sifting a handful of sand through his fingers. “Why don’t ya give it ten minutes and see if he calls back?” He asked, tipping his chin towards Taylor’s phone curiously.

“He won’t.” Taylor said certainly, grimacing as he shook his head and looked away from the pilot, his hands balling into fists as a tendril of appreciation and affection for the other man began to blossom in his heart. “He’s mad at me, and rightfully so... I just, I wanted...” He said, swallowing thickly and shaking his head, dropping his chin to his chest with a snort. “Oh god, why am I even telling you all this?”

“’Cause ya gotta tell someone.” The pilot said quietly, drawing in a slow breath as he turned his clear gaze to the similarly clear waters before them. “’Cause if ya don’t tell someone, ya feel like ya heart might explode, or ya head; whichever is most clogged up at the time.” He added distractedly, shrugging a shoulder before falling silent for a heartbeat. Finally he blinked, seemingly waking from his daze like state and throwing him a lopsided grin. “But I get the impression that this guys important to ya, yeah? And vice versa, I’m assumin’?” He said, his eyes narrowing briefly as he flicked his gaze over Taylor and cocked his head, humming when Taylor nodded hesitantly. “Then I bet ya, he’ll call back... probably in the next few minutes.”

Taylor fidgeted, shifting his feet slightly further across the sand, dipping his toes into the warm water as he glanced at the pilot uncertainly; though hope lifted his heart considerably. “What makes you so sure?” He asked, frowning at the playful smirk the other man threw him in reply. “What? You could still be wrong!” He said, scowling as he averted his eyes and muttered beneath his breath.

“Oh no, ya don’t get to be mister secretive and then just get all the answers ya want outta me.” The pilot chuckled, winking and laughing when Taylor scowled and pointedly avoided looking back at him. “Alright, alright... let’s just say for now that I got experience, okay? If ya feel like not bein’ mister unfriendly sometime, then maybe we can trade histories.” He offered, snorting when he saw the fiery blush begin to creep across Taylor’s cheeks. “Hey, I got a wonder, Boy Scout...” He said abruptly, his brow creasing as he ran his eyes over Taylor curiously. “Are ya shootin’ some new Indiana Jone’s sequel I don’t know about, or what?”

Taylor snorted with amusement despite his exasperation, rolling his eyes as his lips twitched into the facsimile of a smile. “No... jerk off.” He snarked, throwing a pout at the other man irritably. “I...” He paused, his heart aching at the reminder of his spoilt plans. He bit his lip, worrying the flesh with his teeth until the other man finally cleared his throat, opening his mouth to change the subject; and  the gentle kindness prompted Taylor to realise he wanted to talk about it. “I booked to go on that stupid... tour and rock climbing stuff. This was just, something I wore to make sure I was prepared.”

“Well damn, I wish someone had told me to prepare for how damn good ya look in it.” The pilot quipped quickly, smirking at but otherwise ignoring the fierce and rapid blush which Taylor could feel spreading across his face at the compliment and mild flirtation. “But that raises another question...” He continued, raising a brow as he pointed flit his eyes over Taylor. “What the hell’re ya doin’ down here, when Little Miss Sunshine took off twenty minutes ago?”

Taylor blinked, surprised to find so much time had passed without his noticing. “Huh.” He hummed, turning to stare at the glittering water before them, though his eyes were distant and glassy. “Guess I lost track of time...” He murmured quietly, his palms gently brushing together in distracted comforting motions. He cleared his throat, his heart skipping a beat as he realised the other man was still watching him intently, waiting for an actual reply. “I, uh... I just didn’t feel up to-“

“Don’t try and bullshit a bullshitter, Boy Scout.” The pilot said quietly, his clear eyes surprisingly soft as Taylor turned to him in surprise, though there was no sense of pity emanating from him; something which soothed Taylor’s instinct to lash out or flee. He was about to reply, when the other man looked away, peering out over the ocean himself as he continued on in just as quiet a tone. “Ya had a fight with Poolside Barbie again, didn’t ya?”

Taylor tensed, his heart pausing in his chest as he looked down at his lap, his skin burning from the intense swell of nerves, irritation and; unbelievably, relief. “I don’t... I mean...” He stammered, shaking his head as he stared down at his phone, though the dark screen held no help for him to answer the easy but far too personal question. “What, are you some kind of stalker or something?” He finally asked in exasperation, a scowl forming on his face as his hands balled into fists, resenting the small coil of happiness which lit in his stomach upon realising someone cared enough to notice. “How the hell would you know if we fought, let alone ‘again’?” He demanded, trying hard to fan the flames of frustration he felt; though he knew in his heart that the feeling wasn’t truly directed at the pilot.

“Ain’t exactly hard to see ya ain’t gettin’ on.” The pilot said dismissively, his eyes never leaving the horizon as he toyed with a handful of sand and gently filtered it through his fingers. “I mean, ya look more and more miserable every time I see ya; and just ‘cause ya been avoidin’ me for the past couple days, don’t mean I ain’t seen ya around.” He added, shrugging his shoulder lightly as Taylor felt his cheeks warm with embarrassment. “Point is, the guys an asshole... and I think ya smart enough to know that by now. Only real question is why ya lettin’ him push ya around and ruin ya holiday.” He commented lightly, spreading his palms as he turned back to Taylor with a lopsided grin. “Well, that and why ya ain’t just ditched his dumb ass and taken up a better offer.” He said leadingly, waving his brows in playful suggestion.

Taylor felt his irritation melt away, a startled laugh escaping him as he shook his head in exasperation, confused why the other man’s assumptions and obvious flirting weren’t more offensive to him. “Wow, you... really don’t do subtle, do you?” He huffed, looking over at the other man with a rueful grin. The pilot winked unashamedly, but gave no other response, patiently waiting for Taylor to continue. Taylor sighed, licking his lips and glancing over the other mans shoulder, his tightly constricted throat unlocking slightly when the pilot’s intense eyes weren’t locked into his own. “I...” He began, pausing as he tensed; the words lodging in his throat like toffee. “I...” He tried again, swallowing heavily and snorting at himself, shaking his head at his own ridiculous behaviour. Finally he sighed, tipping his head back and gazing up at the clear sky above them, his heart rate slowly increasing as the pressure of his next words built in his throat. “I don’t have anything else anymore.” He finally said in a rush, immediately drawing in a deep trembling breath as his body was flooded by relief and appreciation for the other man’s lack of judgement. He remained silent for several seconds, revelling in the unusual peace in his heart; before glancing sideways at the pilot. “What, no smart comment?”

“Like I said, experience.” The other man said quietly, his expression carefully blank. “Guessed it back at the airport when I met ya both. Seems the type.” He commented lightly, averting his eyes briefly as Taylor frowned, his eyes lowering to his own knees as he shifted in the sand and hugged them to his chest. “That why ya so nervous about callin’ ya buddy.” He guessed, though there was no question in his tone. Taylor nodded, biting his lip as he tried to avoid looking back at the other man, afraid of his rising affection towards him. The pilot sighed, taking a moment before shifting his position slightly, inching closer to Taylor’s side; though Taylor was thankful he didn’t try to touch him. “Look, Boy Scout... I know it’s hard. Both admittin’ ya fucked up, and that things ain’t so perfect as ya tried to pretend. But, this bestie ya got... ya been friends awhile, I’m guessin’?” He said quietly, narrowing his eyes into the distance and allowing Taylor a moment to compose himself.

Taylor hesitated, before nodding his head slowly. Upon realising the other man wasn’t able to see the gesture however he drew in a small, shaky breath and cleared his throat. “Yes.” He said, swallowing audibly as he tried and failed to stop himself from relaxing around the other man, his heart racing with hope and reluctant gratitude. “Since we first started school... we were uh, were in the same class.” He added awkwardly, scratching the back of his hand distractedly.

“There ya go then.” The pilot said warmly, turning towards Taylor with his dangerous and far too close, crooked grin. “Friendship like that don’t break down over trivial shit like asshole boyfriends. Just give him another couple minutes, and I bet he’ll be callin’ ya back.” He said assuredly, raising a brow when Taylor snorted and rolled his eyes at his cocky confidence. “What, ya doubtin’ me? Tell ya what, if I’m right; ya gotta let me take ya rock climbin’ tomorrow. I know a better place than the crappy little ‘safe’ location the stupid tour goes to.” He said, nudging Taylor’s shoulder playfully, as he bit back an amused grin. “I mean, can’t let ya little outfit there go to waste and all, ya know?”

“Oh yeah, sure.” Taylor finally scoffed, unable to fight his amusement off any longer as he glanced up at the pilot in exasperation. “You’re doing this purely for my outfit’s sake, and not for any kind of personal benefit.” He snickered, shaking his head fondly as he looked back down at his phone, his smile slowly fading from his face. He glanced back at the other man, his eyes meeting the pilot’s intense gaze fully for the first time. “What if you’re wrong, and he doesn’t call?” He asked quietly, his anguish clear in the tense lines of his body.

“I ain’t ever wrong, Boy Scout.” The pilot snorted, as Taylor rolled his eyes, his melancholy fading before the other man’s confident bravado. “And, I never lose a bet.” He added, drawing in a deep breath and narrowing his eyes briefly. “But, given that ya so strung up about it and all, if I’m wrong... I’ll do exactly what ya wanted.” He said, grimacing as if he had a bad taste in his mouth. “I’ll leave ya alone; for as long as ya here.”

“You sound so disappointed just saying that.” Taylor huffed, shaking his head and frowning at the other man, frustrated by the painful lurch of his heart at the thought of the pilot no longer speaking to him. “You know I’m with someone, I’m not looking for... whatever it is you’re after with your, your flirting or... or kindness, or whatever.” He groused, his brow furrowing further as he peered at the pilot in confusion, as the man began to laugh quietly.

“Ya really that far into it, huh?” He huffed, shaking his head as he looked back at Taylor with a smile that was tinged with a knowing sadness. “Ya right, I like ya. But I ain’t after anythin’ ya ain’t willin’ to give. If that includes ya company, then...” He said, spreading his palms before draping his arms over his knees. “And besides, it ain’t like ya can’t handle a little flirtin’. Who knows, might wear ya down yet.” He added, as Taylor snorted with wry amusement.

He opened his mouth to reply, when the chiming of his phone startled him. He looked down, his eyes widening as his throat constricted; his heart throbbing painfully as he carefully picked up the device and looked back at the pilot incredulously. “How did you know he wou-?” he began, before shaking his head and biting his lip. “What do I do?” He whispered, swallowing audibly as his finger hovered over the green button.

“I think ya smart enough to already know the answer to that yaself, Boy Scout.” The pilot drawled quietly, pushing to his feet and dusting sand from his clothes. “But only you can do it.” He added, raising his hand in a rough salute as he winked and began to back away. “Meet ya in the lobby tomorrow mornin’, yeah? Ten sharp.” He said, grinning as he turned and walked away through the trees.

Taylor’s heart twisted in his chest, his ire rising as he felt the urge to call the other man back. He shook his head, closing his eyes as he instead thumbed the green button and lifted his phone to his ear. “Hey...” he said, his eyes slowly opening as he faced forward again, his heart lightening as he looked up at the blue sky with a fresh hope that his friendship were salvageable. “So, on a scale of one to ten... I’d say my sorry is a two thousand.” He drawled, waiting tensely as the line remained suspiciously silent for a long pause.

Finally, a snort echoed down the line, and Taylor felt his tensely coiled gut finally ease with relief. “Dude, we are so far past the thousands... I think we’re actually nearing the billions right now.” Diego huffed, his amusement clear even through the layer of awkwardness they both clearly felt. “In fact, I would say you hereby owe me a debt for life. I’m thinking... cookies every time I see you; which is gonna be often, as of right friggin’ now. Even if I have to come and kidnap your dumb ass.” He added, as Taylor felt a natural and nostalgic grin spread across his face.

“You got a bit of a journey at the moment...” Taylor snickered, laughing as his friend continued to grumble petulantly down the line. “Took your advice and booked a trip to La Huerta.” He said, the unspoken words hanging silently in the air for a moment. “It’s beautiful...” Taylor forced himself to say with false cheer, his eyes stinging at the lingering awkwardness between them. “Though it’s uh... it’s got a few... drawbacks.”

“Drawbacks?” Diego scoffed, his offense clear as Taylor’s throat tightened. “Dude, what kind of drawbacks can there be to a beautiful, remote island; where you can literally want for nothing?” He demanded petulantly. Taylor laughed at the genuine outrage in his friends voice, his fears fading as their friendship shone through the distance which had grown between them.

“Well, it’s just one really...” He admitted wryly, biting his lip as he glanced over his shoulder and peered through the trees, making sure he was alone before continuing further. “There’s... well, there’s this... pilot...” He said, swallowing awkwardly as Diego remained silent for a moment; processing the unspoken confession. Finally, Diego cleared his throat; the sound of his dramatic flop into a chair making Taylor laugh as his friend lowered his voice to a conspiratorial, yet excited whisper.

“Tell me _everything_.”


	3. In The Beat Of Our Hearts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiii!   
> I'm making myself late for work finishing this - but I soooooo love it (though not the end) and wanted to get it up - plus; new idea raging so wanna tie this one up really
> 
> Thankyou so much for reading! Please let me know what you think!
> 
> x My love to you all x

**Gorgeous.**

**3**

Taylor sat at the end of his bed, his palms stretched back to brace himself upright, as he stared at the clear sky and watched the clouds drift past lazily. The large red digits of his alarm clock glowed on the bedside table, flickering faintly as time moved ever onwards; stating that it was nine forty three in the morning. His eyes flitted between fluffy clouds, his heart twisting in his chest as it pulled in two separate directions. One part of his heart, told him he was being ridiculous; told him to crawl back under the covers and sleep in with his partner, to spend the day with him and reaffirm their relationship in whatever way he could. The other part of his heart, which he suspected was a somewhat larger part; and also seemed to yell in a voice much similar to his best friend Diego, told him that he should already be waiting in the lobby. His lips twitched with amusement, thoughts and memories of his best friend swirling in the forefront of his mind as he recalled their long conversation the previous day; which had dragged on until Taylor had been forced to return to the hotel to charge his phone.

He sat forward, running his hands through his hair as he sighed and finally turned to eye his sleeping partner dispassionately. _It shouldn’t be like this._ He thought, grimacing at the faint tremor which ran through his hand, before he balled it into a fist. He swallowed thickly, averting his eyes to his lap as he tried to squash the eager thrum in his heart which urged him to leave the room and never look back; once again in a loud and excitable voice which sounded suspiciously like his best friend. He drew in a deep breath and scrubbed his hands over his face, pushing to his feet as he grabbed the small coil of rope and slowly looped it over his shoulders. He looked at himself in the mirror, feeling strangely empty aside from the guilt which gnawed away at his gut, while his heart leaped with excitement. _It’s just... just friendly. He won’t try anything. He respects my... boundaries._ He thought, biting his lip as his fingers twitched; unable to tell if he was lying to himself, or just hoping he was wrong.

The numbers on his alarm clocked flashed warningly, reading nine fifty two, as he finally finished preparing for the day. He took a deep breath, walking slowly around the bed to his partners side and gazing down at his sleeping face with a detached sense of curiosity. _Once upon a time I would have woken him up long ago, hell... once I wouldn’t even have considered going._ He thought dismally, shaking his head as he reached into his pocket and drew out a small folded note, laying it gently atop his partner’s phone. He dragged his eyes over the other man a final time, before turning on his heel and strolling quietly but confidently to the door; and he did not pause before walking straight into the hall, closing the door behind himself carefully. Taylor swallowed thickly, releasing the door handle and walking down the hall, deciding to take the stairs in an attempt to clear his still muddled thoughts and feelings.

 _Diego said to stop worrying._ He reminded himself, one hand ghosting across the railing as he trotted down the stairs, his heart jumping eagerly in his chest with every step he took. _Well, he would do. He’s wanted this whole fiasco to be over for months._ He scoffed to himself, shaking his head as he thought back to the conversation they’d had the previous day; most of which revolved around the mystery pilot ‘drawback’ and the guilt which consumed him whenever he thought of the other man.

“Dude, stop worrying.” His best friend had said, the eager smile in his voice easy to imagine. “If you get carried away with this new, and by the sounds of it, huge improvement of a lover; you can just come stay with me. I just got my first check from the book, and I’ve been looking to upgrade to a better apartment anyway.” He’d said smugly, as Taylor had laughed and agreed, however jokingly; that he would think about it.

Taylor huffed a fond laugh, his heart lightening at the memory of the long overdue phone call and the promising note on which it had ended. He paused at the stairwell door, his hand raising nervously to run through his hair, before he caught himself and scowled; immediately dropping his hand to his side. “It doesn’t matter if my damn hair is a mess, this is not some... some _date_ , or something.” He told himself viciously, shaking his head to clear the confusing sense of self betrayal he felt from his thoughts. “We’re gonna walk a lot, talk as little as possible, maybe climb a few rocks. That’s it, day over; never see him again, if I’m lucky.” He muttered firmly, though his heart clenched briefly at the weak attempt at a lie. He groaned, cursing himself a sucker for punishment; and blaming Diego entirely, before pushing through the door into the lobby and looking around nervously.

Taylor moved through the lobby slowly, peering around the room distractedly in search of the pilot turned tour guide. He idled his way to the entrance, peeking out the main doors and frowning when he didn’t spot the other man, glancing down at his watch to see it was six minutes past the hour. “I mean, he _did_ say ten sharp but...” He mumbled, glancing around again as his heart jumped nervously in his chest. “He... he wouldn’t have left just because I was late... would he?” He wondered aloud, muttering to himself as he paced just beside the main entrance. He worried a nail nervously, unable to deny the sense of loss he felt at having missed the other man, though he tried to tell himself it was merely that he was upset about the event and not the man himself. He was just about to head back up to his room and write the day off as a total loss, when a voice behind him made him jump and whirl around in surprise.

“Damn, ya look like ya just got stood up.” The pilot’s amused snicker had Taylor’s tense shoulders relaxing in a heartbeat, though he was immediately irritated by the rush of relief he felt upon seeing the other man strolling towards him, his hands in his pockets and his now familiar crooked grin on his face. “Guess ya must’ve been late or somethin’ and they thought ya unfriendly ass weren’t comin’.” He teased, though the mirth in his eyes was clear to see.

Taylor rolled his eyes and folded his arms over his chest, determinedly ignoring the heat he felt rising in his cheeks. “I was all of six minutes late, Top Gun.” He snarked petulantly, refusing to acknowledge the petulant edge to his tone. “If you’re gonna hold that against me all morning, then I’m gonna just go ahead and-“ he continued, scowling at the smug pilot as he jerked his thumb over his shoulder.

“Ah, cool ya jets Boy Scout, don’t go gettin’ ya panties in a bunch.” The pilot snorted, rolling his eyes as he rocked on the balls of his feet for a moment. “I figured I might as well make a phone call while I was waitin’... saw ya pacin’ and came back. No biggie.” He said, shrugging his shoulders lightly and quickly flitting his eyes over Taylor. “Ya ready to go?” He asked, raising a brow as he half turned towards the door.

Taylor hesitated, his mouth dry as he drummed his fingers against his thigh nervously. He swallowed heavily, biting his lip as he finally nodded his head and gestured for the pilot to lead the way. “Yeah, I... yeah.” He said awkwardly, feeling the hot flush which spread across his face, though he was unable to prevent it. He averted his eyes as the pilot chuckled, before turning his back and leading the way out the main entrance.

“I borrowed this off a buddy.” He said, strolling over to a small car and throwing Taylor a cocky wink, as he paused and stared at the vehicle in shock. “Best place for rock climbin’ is almost a day out on foot, and I didn’t think ya’d wanna spend a night under the stars with me so...” He said nonchalantly, lowering his eyes as he stepped around the car and hopped into the drivers seat. “Ya comin’ then, or what?” He asked, finally looking back up at Taylor with a frown. Taylor continued to stare a moment longer, amusement bubbling in his chest and finally erupting from him in great peals of laughter. “Er... ya doin’ alright there, Boy Scout?” The pilot asked, eyeing Taylor warily as he slowly walked up to the car and hopped over the door into the passenger seat, looking around as a fresh wave of laughter overwhelmed him.

“You...” He gasped, his hand grasping his stomach as he laughed. “Oh god, I just... I’ve never seen a convertible Mini before; not a vintage model like this, anyway.” He choked, shaking his head wryly as he continued to giggle and snicker to himself, running his hand along the side of the tiny vehicle. “I just... I never figured you for the kinda guy that would have such an... an old _banger_...” He wheezed, squeezing his eyes closed as he laughed hard at the other man’s vehicle.

“Hey, I’m a pilot, I’m usually in somethin’ up in the air not somethin’ trundlin’ along on the ground.” He groused petulantly, grimacing when Taylor snorted inelegantly at him. “Hey, it ain’t mine alright! And it ain’t an old banger either, it’s just... vintage!” He snarked, glowering at Taylor briefly, as he peeked at him from beneath his lashes, before shaking his head and attempting to start the engine. “Oh godammit, Mike you sonova... “ He muttered, as Taylor’s laughter redoubled; when the ‘unique’ car whined and finally backfired, but did not start.

“Wow, and here I thought this couldn’t get any funnier...” Taylor wheezed, wiping his eyes as tears of mirth escaped him. His amusement never faded, even as the pilot finally started the temperamental car, continuing to chuckle and snort to himself, as the other man drove them deep into the lush jungle. They drove along a small trail in companionable silence, Taylor still snickering to himself as he ran a hand along the side of the small car, occasionally shaking his head with fond amusement, before finally sighing and tipping his head back against the seat; closing his eyes and delighting in the warm sun on his face, while a gentle breeze tickled his skin.

“Ya better not snore, Boy Scout, or I’m tossin’ ya out and makin’ ya walk.” The pilot snorted, a smirk curling his lips as Taylor opened his eyes and peered over with a grin, though the other mans eyes remained on the road, the trees having tapered off on one side to leave clear sky; and a small plateau area, before the sheer drop of a cliff. “I don’t do snorin’, droolin’ or bitin’.” He said, flashing Taylor a brief cocky glance, before lookin’ back at the road.

“Really?” Taylor laughed, raising a brow as he surveyed the pilot in playful consideration. “You sure about that, Top Gun?” He asked, a light grin playing on his lips as he watched the other man laugh, knowing he was walking a dangerous line between friendly banter and flirting; but unable to stop himself, as a bubble of excitement and happiness rose within his chest.

“Hmm,” the pilot hummed teasingly, casting a sideways glance at Taylor as he felt his skin flush with heat, but for once held his gaze; and refused to look away. “I guess it depends on what ya into.” He drawled, raising a brow as his lip curled with amusement, his eyes flicking over Taylor as he held the other mans gaze a moment longer. Taylor’s temperature continued to rise, his pulse ringing loudly in his ears even over the loud clatter of the old car’s engine.

Finally Taylor laughed, shaking his head as he turned his head away, resting his elbow on the side of the car and propping his chin in his hand; his fingers covering his lips to hide his lingering grin, as his heart sped with giddy nervousness in his chest.  “Guess you ought to hit that club more.” He said, ignoring the grating twitch of his heart at the words as he sucked in a deep breath, eyeing the cliff like edge of the road dubiously. “See if there’s anyone here who’s you’re type and into the uh, same things.” He snickered lightly, braving a glance at the other man to see he had returned his eyes to the road, a secretive grin curving his lips.

“Nah, ain’t anyone in that piss pit that I’d be interested in.” The pilot commented easily, glancing across the scenery beside him. Taylor raised a brow, certain the other man was going to continue, his expression slowly morphing into a frown when he remained noticeably silent instead. He was about to prod the topic, when the pilot pulled off the road abruptly, parking beside some ferns just outside of the jungle. “Here we go, Boy Scout.” He said, grinning as he turned off the engine and flashing Taylor an excited wink. “Ready to have yaself some fun for once?” He asked, hopping out the small car and walking around to the trees just past the trunk, as Taylor quickly scrabbled to hop over the side of the mini; jogging to catch up with the pilot.

He raised a brow at the other man, his eyes darting over him uncertainly. “What do you mean, ‘for once’?” He asked slowly, carefully sidestepping around the pilot to peek between the gap in the trees, his heart skipping a beat at the total wildness of the jungle beyond; the path disappearing beneath the greenery almost immediately. “Please don’t tell me now that you’re actually some sort of weirdo stalker; leading me to your lair where you’ll torture me forever...” He said, looking back at the pilot as he snorted and laughed, rolling his eyes as he stuffed his hands into his pockets and sidled closer to Taylor.

“Depends,” he hummed thoughtfully, his clear eyes gleaming with mischief. “What is it I’m torturin’ ya with in this scenario, exactly?” He drawled lewdly, leaving no confusion as to his meaning. He laughed at the brief panic which Taylor felt flash through him, reading the emotion in his eyes and the sudden tensing of his shoulders, before he turned into the trees. “Oh god, don’t get ya panties in a bunch, Boy Scout.” He repeated, rolling his eyes and shaking his head in amusement. “I ain’t about to torture ya or... ya know, _torture_ ya... without ya wantin’ me to.”

He called back over his shoulder, as Taylor hesitated a heartbeat longer, biting his lip and squirming uncomfortably at the allure of the offhand comment. He drew a deep breath, and finally followed after the pilot, as he led them through the undergrowth. His brows shot up on his forehead, as the pilot deftly hopped a log and slid under a low- hanging branch; and Taylor felt the tension leave him as an easy grin formed on his face.

"Impressive," he said, his heart skipping a beat as he attempted to mirror the pilots actions himself. "You do this a lot?" He asked curiously, watching the pilot stroll casually through the undergrowth. "Go hiking, walk through jungles, that kind of thing, I mean... when you’re not flying or driving old bangers, I mean." Taylor chuckled, rolling his eyes at the pilots cocky and knowing grin. "You seem pretty confident in the outdoors." He finally added, glancing askance at the other man, as he closed the distance between them and matched his pace.

"Ya remember I said I grew up in a Louisiana?" The pilot asked with an easy shrug, his smile soft as he looked around the lush vegetation around them. "When it comes down to it, the swamp and the jungle really ain't so different." He explained, looking over at Taylor with a lopsided grin, which Taylor quickly averted his gaze from; attempting to smother the weak fluttering of his heart.

"Probably not as many Gators out here though." Taylor said, forcing a strained laugh as he felt his face flush with heat, as the pilot awarded him a quiet chuckle in response. The sound was soothing to Taylor’s embarrassment and awkwardness, but this fact only served to feed his frustration. _Stop it. You have a boyfriend; you shouldn’t be reacting to this guy like this! Just get a grip already, Taylor!_ His mind yelled at him, though his blush only intensified, when he inadvertently pictured something else he might like to get a grip of.

"Less Gators, more Jaguars.” The pilot laughed, looking around the area with a soft, content sigh. “I'll call it even." He said, chuckling as they lapsed into a brief but comfortable silence, before glancing at Taylor slyly. "How about _you_ , Boy Scout? This kinda scene somethin’ ya into?" He asked unsubtly, grinning when he caught sight of Taylor’s lingering blush.

Taylor hesitated, his steps slowing slightly as he debated how to answer. He thought back to his own hometown, the farmers fields he’d played in and the woodlands behind his house, where he’d built his own tree house and den. His eyes began to sting, his heart rate rising as he was overwhelmed by the desperate longing to return home. He ignored the thick constriction of his throat, instead clearing it and looking away. _Not like it can really hurt._ He thought, as he took a quick shuddering breath. “Yeah... yeah this is, exactly my sort of thing. I actually love the outdoors." He admitted quietly, sighing contently as his lips unconsciously curved into a soft grin, despite the lingering sense of longing in his heart. "The blue sky overhead, the fresh air, that soft breeze..." He said, taking a deep breath and shaking his head with a soft laugh. "I mean, being out here, like this... I don't know. I can’t help but feel _happy_." He turned to find the pilot watching him intently, his gaze wandering over him sceptically.

When he noticed Taylor looking at him, he slowly raised an eyebrow at him. “I’m guessin’ ya don’t get a chance to get out in the wilds so much as ya’d like...” He commented lightly, though there was a hardness beneath his curious tone. "That why ya came along with me?" He asked quietly, as Taylor frowned in confusion, cocking his head curiously as he avoided the other man’s eyes, watching the ground and carefully stepping around the various plants that he could. "Felt like a nature hike?"

"I..." Taylor hesitated, finally glancing over at the pilot in shy confusion. “I dunno what you mean... I only came because I lost your dumb bet.” He snarked, looking away as he felt his cheeks burn with embarrassment and shame. He took a deep breath, determined not to voice the huge truth sitting heavy on his chest. _I just wanted to spend time with you_. He thought to himself, biting his lip as guilt gnawed at his stomach and determinedly locking his eyes on the invisible path before them. 

“Huh.” The pilot hummed, his tone far from convinced. Taylor felt his heart rate increase slowly, guilt and anxiety clawing at his gut as he tried to maintain an impassive expression. “Well... ya know, if ya really don’t wanna be here then we can go back? I mean, I ain’t exactly into the whole ‘force’ thing by any measure, so-“ he began stiffly, slowing his pace until he was almost at a standstill.

"No!" Taylor yelped abruptly, grimacing as he came to a halt and quickly swung his gaze back to the other man, only to find him smirking victoriously. “Urgh, I hate you so much.” He groused, though he felt an exasperated grin tug at his lips. He shook his head and sighed as he looked around and ran a hand through his hair. “I mean, we’re already here now, and we’re almost there..." Taylor said awkwardly, as he gestured to the near invisible path ahead of them. He hesitated, biting his lip as he examined his conflicted emotions for an extended heartbeat, before heaving a heavy sigh and slowly forcing the words which gnawed at his gut from his constricted throat. "Look, I don't know what it is... but, I feel safe near you.” He finally admitted, grimacing at the surprised rise of the pilots eyebrows. “I... I don’t feel that around many people anymore. But... but being around you, it’s easy to let go and just...” He paused, swallowing thickly as embarrassment overwhelmed him, causing his cheeks to burn furiously. “Is that... weird?" 

The pilot took a full minute to stare at him, his eyes raking over every inch of his body and face, as he seemed to contemplate Taylor's confession. "Naw, not weird." He said quietly, his eyes surprisingly soft as a cocky grin spread across his face. "Just dorky and a little on the nose." He added, and Taylor laughed with relief, his tense shoulders relaxing as his anxiety and embarrassment finally began to fade from his soaring heart. "Classic Boy Scout." The other man said fondly, snorting as he flashed Taylor a fond wink and brushed past him to continue on their way. Taylor rolled his eyes and tried to fight a smile as he fell into step beside the pilot, their conversation lulling briefly as they walked through the jungle, heading towards a clearing Taylor could just begin to see forming. "So, hey... are ya ever gonna actually tell me ya name, Boy Scout?" The pilot asked, huffing in amusement as he glanced across at Taylor slyly. 

"Hmm...” Taylor hummed with a mocking, thoughtful expression. “I guess... maybe.” He said, smirking as he cast an innocent look towards the other man. “When you've earned it." He said with a wink, smiling as the pilot laughed in surprise and amusement. “Well, it works both ways mister mysterio pilot... are you ever gonna tell me _your_ name?” He asked, as his heart skipped several beats and his gut quivered with a nervous tremor of hope.

“Sure.” The pilot replied glibly, smirking as he threw Taylor a cocky wink. “When ya’ve earned it.” He repeated back to Taylor, making him snort with laughter briefly, before they continued on in companionable silence, the quiet sounds of various wildlife surrounding them as they walked slightly closer than was strictly necessary; though Taylor couldn’t bring himself to move away, enjoying the outing too much to let his usual hesitance and distance spoil the day. As they reached the small clearing at the far end of the jungle, Taylor reached forward; his hand accidentally brushing against the pilots as he cleared a path between the bushes and trees, to reveal that they had made their way to the foot of a sharp and jagged cliff face.

"If ya wanted to hold my hand, all ya had to do was ask." The pilot teased playfully, his eyes already tracing over the rocks before them. He glanced at Taylor, throwing him a crooked grin and snickering softly, as Taylor hurriedly snatched his hand away; holding it to his chest awkwardly and trying to ignore the blush he felt light across his cheeks. "So... now that we’re actually here... how is ya rock climbing, Boy Scout?" He asked knowingly, raising a brow when Taylor ducked his head to try and hide the small grin he felt blooming on his lips.

"It’s uh, it’s okay..." Taylor said dismissively, plucking at a loose thread at the hem of his shirt. "Well, I mean I haven’t done it in awhile, so I probably wouldn’t be winning any awards." He said, finally looking up at the amused pilot, who was clearly trying not to laugh at Taylor’s attempt to hide his eagerness. "Above average?" He offered tentatively, finally dissolving into a quiet fit of giggles when the other man merely raised a slow brow at him.

The pilot watched him a moment longer, his grin spreading as he stepped closer to the cliffs. "Good enough for me." He chuckled dryly, crouching down and lacing his fingers together into a step. Taylor felt excitement blossom in his chest, eager to finally be able to be making the most of his time in such a beautiful, unique getaway location. His heart leapt into his throat as he stepped forward; and he firmly told himself it was the rush of adrenaline which caused the reaction, as opposed to knowing that the pilot would be right beside him. He sucked in a deep breath as his eyes met the confident clear gaze of the pilot, stepping into the step the other man’s hands made as he accepted his helpful boost, allowing him to hoist him up to a low ledge.

“Hnng...” He grunted, as he levered himself up and onto the small platform, quickly rolling aside to get his knees beneath him. He then turned, smirking as he reached down and offered his hand to pull the pilot up beside him. Together they climbed the rocky cliff side, grabbing handholds and using cracks to stabilize themselves. They shared occasional grins, encouraging each other and on occasion trading brief taunts to reinvigorate the other, should one of them fall behind. Taylor huffed as he climbed, his breath slowly increasing to a ragged pant, as he used his strong arms to pull himself ever higher up the wall of rock.

"Just a little more..." The pilot finally huffed, close to cresting the top as he glanced back down at Taylor. He grinned brightly, the sight more than a little distracting to Taylor when he was framed by the sunlight peeking over the top of the cliff. He rolled his eyes at the ease of his distraction, his hand grabbing a cluster of rock just below the top of the cliff ridge as he made to follow the other man, only for the chunk of rock to snap off as soon as he applied any weight and tried to pull himself higher.

" _Aaaah_!" He cried, his heart stopping for a second in his chest, his hand flailing frantically for a moment before it shot forward and grabbed at the ledge. “Shit!” He cursed, his heart resuming at a much faster pace than it had previously been beating. He grit his teeth, gasping as he felt his hands begin to lose their hold on the rock beneath them; until another pair of hands reached out and grabbed his wrists, steadying him even as they caused his stomach to flutter weakly. He glanced up at the pilot, who winked in encouragement despite the concern he tried to hide in his gaze, before he lowered his gaze and deftly pulled himself up, forcing the other man to release him as he flopped onto the hard rock in exhaustion, the adrenaline rushing through his veins like a pulse of raw energy beneath his skin. "Phew!" 

"Nice moves, Boy Scout." The pilot said, crouching beside his prone form. Taylor looked over to the other man, just catching the concern buried in his cerulean blue eyes, as their eyes locked for an intense half a second. The other man turned his eyes away a moment later however, clearing his throat as he let out a short puff of breath which Taylor could almost have thought was a sigh of relief. “Gotta say, I’m impressed... lesser man would’ve panicked there!”

"Thanks." He grinned, accepting the other man’s hand when he offered it and leaning on the pilot slightly more than was necessary as he got to his feet. “And, uh...” He said, clearing his throat awkwardly as he released the other man’s hand and scratched at the back of his neck shyly. “Thanks for the help too...” He said quietly, his lips twitching into a soft and grateful grin, despite his best efforts to prevent the action. He cleared his throat again as he turned, his breath catching as he stepped forward and stood at the peak of the cliff, gazing out across the island. "I gotta hand it to this place..." He huffed quietly, drinking in the beauty of the sight before him. "It never stops taking my breath away." He sighed, enjoying the peace of the wild land before him.

"Hmm." The pilot hummed noncommittally, his voice low as he murmured from somewhere behind him. "Never thought too much of it before, to be honest... Seen one jungle, ya seen ‘em all." He said slowly, as Taylor’s breath caught in his throat, his skin prickling as he felt the other man’s eyes on him. "But I gotta admit, right _now_... it's one hell of a sight." He continued quietly, and Taylor felt his heart pound more forcefully, with every quiet step he heard the other man begin taking towards him.

 _Don’t turn around._ Taylor warned himself, his mouth turning dry as his throat constricted, his heart racing as seconds seemed to pass by in an eternity. _Don’t look at him... Don’t look!_ He thought urgently, feeling his heart rise into his throat, as the other man’s footsteps slowly trailed off. He shivered at the soft brush of the pilot’s fingers across the back of his hand, slowly gliding up to his wrist and hovering over his rapid pulse. _Don’t-_ his thought cut off abruptly, his heart crashing in his chest as he swallowed thickly and half turned his head to peek over his shoulder; the action seeming to spur the pilot, as his free hand rose to cup his cheek and draw him closer.

Time slowed as Taylor turned, well aware he could pull away if he truly wished; but instead he ignored the voice in his head which yelled _no_ , and focused on the flutter of his heart which said _yes_. His breath caught, as the pilot’s mouth descended upon his own, confident and hungry as he released Taylor’s wrist and curled his arm around his waist to pull him closer. “Mmm-“ Taylor hummed, his thoughts clouding in a haze of giddy joy at the warmth and desire which rapidly consumed him. Whatever expectations he’d had that the other man’s kiss might be curious or gentle evaporated, a gasp escaping him as the pilot drew him into a deep and passionate kiss. He floundered awkwardly for a moment, before finally laying his hands against the other man’s chest, steadying himself as he surrendered to the hungry desire he’d fought against since meeting the pilot. His eyes scrunched tightly closed as his body reacted with lightning and heat, his heart racing and crashing against his chest as he felt the other man’s palm splay across the small of his back, and slowly begin to drift lower.

Taylor gasped as he tore his lips free of the other man’s intense kiss, his thoughts utterly scattered by the pleasure which coursed through him, as the pilot immediately dragged his lips across his cheek, trailing to his throat hungrily; seeming unwilling to part his lips from Taylor’s body. “Oh god...” Taylor muttered, his hands slowly gliding up the pilot’s arms, his eyes glazing with desire as he looked up at the sky above them. “This can’t be real...” He whispered, closing his eyes and moaning quietly as the other man’s hand dipped into his back pocket and squeezed, his teeth lightly grazing the pulse point in his throat as Taylor arched against him. He curled one fist into the pilot’s jacket, his breath quickening as pleasure quickly overwhelmed him, his other hand twining into the other man’s long hair. “Oh...god-“

“Hmm...” The pilot hummed, his stubble tickling and scratching at Taylor’s throat, as he smothered the area in hungry kisses. “Call me Jake.” He said, unfazed by Taylor’s abrupt burst of laughter as he continued to trace his lips over the entirety of Taylor’s exposed neck. Taylor’s heart thudded heavily in his chest, his pulse racing in his own ears as Jake surfaced from his throat and recaptured his lips with an intense kiss which made Taylor shiver with desire.

Taylor felt the urgency of their kiss begin to grow, evolving into a next level hunger as he felt Jake’s fingers flex within his back pocket, massaging and kneading his ass restlessly while simultaneously pulling him closer. His grip in the pilot’s hair tightened, an embarrassing sound he could only describe as a whimper escaping him, as his other hand gripped the pilot’s jacket so tightly he distantly wondered if the material would tear. “Mm!” He groaned, his body beginning to tremble as he felt Jake’s hands begin to deliberately slide to meet at his waistband, his fingers slowly curling into the hem of Taylor’s t shirt. Taylor yearned to give in, knowing in the deepest recesses of his heart that if he allowed Jake to remove his shirt, they wouldn’t return to the hotel until the following morning; and he would forever have to live with the guilt which had begun to gnaw once again at his gut. His hand curled tighter into the pilot’s jacket, his heart aching with confliction and guilt as he returned Jake’s kiss with a hunger and a passionate desire he’d not felt in too long, desperately wanting to let the other man continue. As Jake’s kiss softened slightly, lingering as he pulled away to glance down at where his fingers grazed Taylor’s stomach, Taylor felt his heart clench with grief. “Please...” He whispered, panting for breath as his fingers curled so tightly in the pilot’s jacket, that his knuckles began to turn white. Jake’s clear eyes lifted to Taylor’s dark, his desire plain as he began to lean towards him again. “Please, Jake... don’t make me do this...” He murmured, his heart screaming at him with furious denial as Jake tensed and paused.

With a great and heart wrenching effort, Taylor resisted the urge to resume the kiss which had lit his heart and body on fire, his breath mingling with Jake’s as they caught their breath, their eyes locked in an heated exchange of longing and regret. “Why?” Jake rasped, his brow furrowing as he swept the pad of his thumb over Taylor’s hip, causing him to bite his lip to stifle a moan. “Why’re ya so damn loyal to someone who can’t even see what a fucking...” He bit out, shaking his head as his chest heaved against Taylor’s, his heart thudding as wildly as Taylor’s within. “He’s a goddamn moron, and he don’t appreciate ya.” He finally reasoned, his eyes narrowing with confusion and longing. “Why? Ya deserve so much better... Why’re ya stayin’ with some asshole who don’t deserve ya?” He demanded, his fingers squeezing Taylor’s side lightly.

“It’s... it’s not about him.” He panted, his gaze glazed with remorse as he looked up at the other man, who’s clear eyes already shone with resignation and expectation, despite his protestation. “I... I can’t be this person.” He said quietly, his breath escaping him in a reluctant gasp as he shook his head infinitesimally. “I don’t want to do this, and then regret it. I don’t want to resent you for it later.” He admitted, as Jake sighed and finally lowered his gaze. Taylor’s eyes stung with tears, his heart aching at the overwhelming sense of loss which swept through him. “I’m sorry-“ he choked, forcing his fingers to unclench themselves from the pilot’s jacket.

“Don’t be.” Jake said, his chest shuddering lightly as he caught his breath, his intense gaze returning Taylor’s face longingly, as his fingers brushed across his stomach beneath his t shirt and caused him to shiver with desire. “Ya just... a good person.” He said, a frustrated but amused huff escaping him, as he reluctantly removed his hands from Taylor’s waist. “I knew what I was doin’ when I kissed ya. Ain’t gonna lie, I hoped I’d convince ya... but I get it.” He sighed, as he shoved his hands into his pockets and took a step back, his expression torn by longing as he shook his head quickly. “I gotta admit, that weren’t... I hadn’t planned on-“ he said awkwardly, raising a hand to run through his hair distractedly, as Taylor wrapped his arms around his stomach, guilt gnawing at him heavily as a deep sense of loss settled in his heart. “Look, that weren’t why I brought ya here, okay? I just...” He exhaled heavily, peering out at the horizon with a frustrated expression, as Taylor watched him intently; his eyes softening at the obvious concern the other man exhibited.

“I know you didn’t...” He said quietly, swallowing thickly and averting his eyes for a heartbeat, before looking back to find Jake still staring at the horizon. “I just... I can’t be that person.” He repeated, longing to reach out and take the other man’s hands, but too wary of his now wild emotions to dare even the small touch. “I... I really, really appreciate that you brought me here... and I, I had a great time-“ he said, pausing when Jake merely lowered his head, his eyes on the ground as he listened to Taylor. “I didn’t mean to, to lead you on or-“

“Please,” Jake scoffed at last, rolling his eyes as he drew in a deep breath and sighed slowly. “Ya ain’t exactly made it a secret that ya didn’t wanna...” He said, pausing for a moment and clearing his throat as he gathered himself. “Ya made no secret that ya didn’t feel the sam-“ he began, though he trailed off as his throat seemed to lock.

“Jake...” Taylor said, inching a dangerous half step closer as he frowned, confusion touching his thoughts at the other man’s obvious frustration and self depreciation. “If I really didn’t want you to kiss me just now...” He said, swallowing thickly as Jake raised his clear eyes to meet his gaze. “I wouldn’t have let you.” He admitted, smiling sadly at the pilot when his expression morphed into a confused frown. “But just because I want it... doesn’t make it right.” He said, biting the words from between his teeth as he grimaced and turned away with a scowl. “Regardless of, of handsomeness and kindness and whatever else it is that makes me like you and want to...” He said in a rush, forcing himself to stop and take a deep breath to steady his rising nerves. “I am with someone. He’s waiting for me, right now.” He said, reluctantly raising his eyes to Jake’s. “I can’t be the person who just-”

“I get it.” Jake interrupted with a sigh, shaking his head as he looked out over the jungle which they’d traversed together. “Ya a good person. Definitely better than what that blind asshole deserves but...” He said, a touch of frustration in his tone as he shook his head and glanced back at Taylor quickly. “I’m sorry.” He said abruptly, taking a step away from him, towards the ledge which they’d climbed over. “We should uh, we should head back.” He said quickly, clearing his throat as he hunkered down at the edge of the rock face.

“Jake...” Taylor began, their eyes meeting for one, long silent moment. Taylor felt his heart hammer in his chest, his pulse clamouring in his ears. His fingers itched, longing to reach out and intertwine with Jake's, to draw him back into an embrace and forget everything he’d said so they could share the evening together. His lips parted, fully intending to voice this thought, when Jake snorted and shook his head; seeming to have already read the confliction in Taylor’s eyes.

“Ya’d regret it, soon as it was over.” The pilot said, a shadow passing through his clear eyes as he turned away. "We, uh... should probably head back." He repeated lowly, his stubbled cheek dusting with pink as he swallowed heavily, a breathless chuckle escaping him as he looked up at the sky. “Just my luck...” He muttered to himself with wry amusement, as Taylor felt a whirlwind of emotions rage through him; desire, hurt, anger, affection, longing and hope all combined as he watched the pilot studiously avoid meeting his eyes again. "C’mon, Boy Scout... let’s get ya back."

Taylor said nothing, as Jake finally looked back at him, though it seemed to be against his will. His heart ached with longing, as he tried to viciously stomp down on the fierce desire he felt to reach out and press his lips against the pilot’s once more. He took a deep breath and sighed, as Jake looked away once more. "... yeah." He reluctantly agreed, sighing as he moved to Jake’s side and sat on the ledge, regret spiralling through his gut at the thought of leaving; even as guilt nipped at his conscience. “Thank you... for bringing me here This was... it was good.”

Jake snorted, shaking his head as he rolled his eyes toward Taylor with a familiar crooked grin, though it was tinged with guilt as opposed to any kind of amusement. "Gotta say... was kinda fun." He confessed, seeming to struggle for a moment before he continued in a rush. "Would’ve been better if ya pesky moral’s weren’t so damn strong.” He huffed, startling a quiet laugh from Taylor, as he bit his lip to keep from grinning at him guiltily. The pilot snorted again, moving to begin their descent, when Taylor’s hand shot out and grabbed his sleeve.

“Maybe...” He said without thinking, his heart leaping to his throat as his eyes met Jake’s; far too close and far too tempting. “Maybe, before I fly back... we can go on another climb together." He said Taylor his heart melting at the look of longing which the pilot examined him with.

"I'd like that." Jake admitted softly, though he shook his head reluctantly. “But, I ain’t so sure it’s a good idea, Boy Scout.” He said, swallowing thickly and glancing away. Taylor frowned, both at the other man’s half rejection; and the spark of loss which sat heavily in his stomach. Jake huffed upon glancing up at him, amusement glittering in his clear eyes. “I ain’t so sure I can walk away from ya twice.” He said, shaking his head as he swung his legs down over the edge of the cliff.

Taylor hesitated before following, knowing the other man was right to refuse him and feeling his frustration at himself rise, when he felt so saddened by it. “Taylor.” He said suddenly, lowering his eyes to the pilot’s stunned face, as he stared up at him in surprise. “My name is Taylor.” He said quietly, irritated with himself for being so pleased to put a smile back on the other man’s face.

“Well, well...” Jake hummed, his eyes flicking over him playfully. “Look who’s finally thawin’ out huh, mister unfriendly.” He said, snickering when Taylor rolled his eyes and swung himself around, slowly climbing down the rock face with the other man easily keeping pace beside him. They reached the bottom safely, sharing a brief heated glance, before simultaneously averting their eyes. “Guess we should...” Jake coughed, gesturing in the vague direction of the car. “Get you back.” He concluded awkwardly, hesitating a moment before strolling ahead to lead the way back along the near invisible path.

“...yeah.” Taylor repeated, sighing as he ran a hand through his hair, confused and frustrated by the sense of loss which he felt lingering in his heart. With a grimace, he set off after Jake, determinedly telling himself that he’d done the right thing; even when his heart continued to scream otherwise.


	4. In The Heat Of The Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I'm of two minds whether I should be posting this yet - but, I decided even if the next chapter is short; I think this should be posted now. So, here ya go  
> I hope it's okay and it doesnt seem like craaaaap
> 
> x My love to you all x

**Gorgeous.**

**4**

Taylor drew in a deep breath, leaning on the balcony of his hotel room, as he gazed into the distant horizon unseeingly. For the remainder of the journey back to the hotel he’d been quiet, contemplative and thoughtful; lost in the confusing swarm of his own thoughts and feelings. He’d been sad when the drive had significantly shortened the journey; which only served to frustrate him further, knowing he _shouldn’t_ _want_ to linger with the pilot after allowing himself to slip so entirely. Their parting at the hotel lobby an hour and a half before had been awkward and oddly bittersweet, eyes not quite meeting and averting quickly when they did accidentally meet. He’d felt so conflicted, needing to escape the situation; but wanting to stay with the pilot for longer nonetheless. He sighed, running his hands over his face tiredly as he replayed the entire day in his head, uncertain of how he could possibly face Jake again after turning him away.

“Why’d you have to kiss me, you stupid... handsome... stupid pilot?!” He grumbled beneath his breath, his fingers lingering upon his lips, as they burnt with the memory of the other man’s demanding, passionate kiss. Taylor closed his eyes, a shiver of longing trickling down his spine, as he recalled the heat and desire which had lit like fire in his veins; the long forgotten sensation of wanting and of being wanted, just as he was. “Why’d I _let_ you..?” He wondered aloud, a heavy sigh escaping him as he thought of the very real opportunity he’d had to refuse Jake’s kiss; and the very blatant choice he’d made to ignore that opportunity.  A spark of irritation lit in his heart, frustration that the pilot had managed to make him feel desires which he’d long thought were gone for good.

 _Which says a lot about you and what you want, assbutt._ He thought, though his imagination seemed to project the frustrated voice of his best friend. _You know you deserve better, you know he wants to give it to you..! What are you waiting for?! To grow old and bitter, wondering ‘what if’?!_  Diego mentally scolded him, as Taylor dropped his hands to the rail, his heart racing as the thought sparked and caught fire, fanning the flames of his desires and nibbling at the edge of his conscience. _So help me, Taylor, if you don’t go get yourself some hot and steamy, r-rated pilot action right now... Well, I’m gonna do something very unforgettable. And very bad. Repeatedly. As long as we live..._ Taylor snorted, pushing himself up from the railing as he drew in a deep breath, his lingering hesitance fading as he bit his lip, his brow furrowing in thought.

 _Why? Why are ya so damn loyal to someone who can’t even see what a fuckin'-_ Jake’s voice drowned out Diego’s in his head, causing his hands to curl tightly over the railing, as the pull of the other man tugged at his heart. _Why’re ya stayin’ with some asshole who doesn’t deserve ya?_ Taylor considered the question for what felt like the first time, his frown growing more troubled as he raised a hand to his mouth and began to worry his thumbnail between his teeth. He’d thought about the state of his increasingly dysfunctional relationship certainly, but he couldn’t remember what reason he’d really found to stay past the obvious; he had nothing else left. Taylor sucked in a deep breath, his eyes narrowing at the distant horizon as if he blamed it for his situation.

 _Dude, seriously, why the fuck are you still standing there?_ Diego’s voice returned to his head, as Taylor turned and leaned his hip against the railing, his stomach clenching nervously as he eyed the doorway with a rising surge of longing and mild frustration; irritated that the pilot had him trying to convince himself to do something he would never normally consider. _Go,Taylor... Go, go, go! For once in your goddamn life, do something for you!_ Taylor almost smiled at the scolding, his lips barely twitching as he slowly pushed himself off the railing, hesitantly stepping back into the bedroom and slowly walking through; gaining confidence and conviction with every step he took. His brow knitted determinedly, his heart rate rising as he determined to find Jake and tell him just what an ass he was; for making him want him, when he so obviously shouldn’t.  Anything which came after that; he firmly blamed on Diego, because that’s what his best friend would have wanted. He was just about to reach for the door handle, his heart soaring with hope and desire, when the door threw itself open towards him, forcing him to quickly step back.

“Babe! _There_ you are!” His boyfriend exclaimed, sighing in obvious relief as his eyes landed on Taylor. Taylor tensed, his heart lurching to an abrupt halt in his chest as he stared at his partner in surprise, a rush of breath leaving him as he was overwhelmed by shock. “I can’t believe you went out without me like that... you _know_ I worry about you!” His partner continued, throwing an arm around his shoulders and drawing him close, as Taylor blinked and tried to wake himself from whatever daze seemed to have overcome him. “I just, I don’t like it when you go out like that, you know that...” He continued lowly, dragging his free hand down Taylor’s side suggestively. “I’m glad you’re back, I can make sure you’re okay and didn’t-“

“I’m fine.” Taylor finally muttered, grimacing as his skin prickled uncomfortably beneath his partners touch; the simple gesture’s meaning plain in its lingering on his hip. He squirmed away from the wandering hand, his previous excitement fading into uncertainty. “I left you a note, you knew what I was doing... you made it clear you didn’t wanna go-“ he tried to explain, his words carrying an undeniably bitter taint as he tried to pull away from his partners embrace.

“Babe, c’mon...” His boyfriend muttered lowly, nuzzling his shoulder affectionately for a moment, until Taylor grimaced and attempted to shy away from the touch. “Urgh, seriously?” His partner demanded, a scowl forming on his face as he rolled his eyes and dropped his arm, lightly shouldering Taylor aside as he strolled further into their bedroom. “We haven’t had any kind of fun in months, babe. What the hell is the damn problem? What’s up with you now?” He asked, narrowing his eyes at Taylor suspiciously. “What, you fucking someone else? Suddenly, I’m not good enough for you anymore?”

“You know I wouldn’t do that.” Taylor said quietly, guilt churning in his gut at the thought that he had in fact, been more than just considering the idea. He swallowed down the bitter taste of bile in his throat, gritting his teeth against the heavy wave of self loathing which washed through him. “There’s nothing _up_ with me, and there’s no _problem_! I just...” He said defensively, folding his arms over his chest as he moved away from the door, sitting down on the edge of the bed with a small frown. “I’m just not in the mood for... _that_ , right now.” He said, trying hard to hide the guilt he felt cloying in his stomach.

“You’re _never_ in the mood anymore.” His boyfriend said scathingly, missing the guilty wince which Taylor couldn’t quite contain. “I swear babe, you’re goddamn lucky you have me.” He said with a heavy sigh, shaking his head as he stripped off his speedo’s. “No other dumb fucker would put up with half your bullshit.” He said bitterly, disappearing briefly as he moved away to the bathroom, the sound of running water briefly filling the air.

 _Is he right?_ Taylor found himself wondering, his hands moving to grip the edge of the bed beneath him, as he bit his lip worriedly. _Am I so fucked up, that I’m lucky to have him?_ He thought, his thoughts turning inward as he wondered if he’d been too selfish in his actions. _Jake doesn’t even know me, he just think’s I’m hot..._ He thought, ignoring the indignant sting of his heart at the idea. _I might not have romance but-_ he shook his head, dislodging his thought train as he hurried to try and quell the rising uncertainty in his heart. _I have security. Surely... surely that’s something? That he stays with me, even though I don’t want hi-_ Taylor abruptly bit the thought off, drawing in a shaky breath as he closed his eyes and tried to bury what remained of his attraction to Jake. _I can’t be that person._ He’d said to the man; and he’d meant it. He swallowed down the bitterness of his decision, ignoring the howling curses of his best friend in his head as he exhaled a trembling sigh and ran a hand through his hair.

Taylor started when he felt fingers drag suggestively down his arm, his gut clenching as his skin crawled, the action no less unsettling than the first time his partner had tried. “C’mon babe...” His boyfriend murmured, his breath ghosting across Taylor’s throat as the bed dipped with his extra weight. “You never know; you might actually enjoy it.” He leered, his lips lowering to Taylor’s shoulder with deceptive gentility.

Taylor’s breath caught, his stomach churning as his thoughts rapidly tried to come up with a way to avoid the situation, his heart racing for an entirely different reason than when Jake had touched him earlier in the day. “I... I don’t-“ He stammered, attempting to wriggle free of his partners hold, though the other man merely curled an arm about his waist to keep him close. “We could go to the club!” He offered suddenly, his breath quickening as desperation struck him, willing to accept anything as a distraction for his partners unwanted attention. His heart sprinted hopefully as his boyfriend paused, removing his lips from Taylor’s shoulder as he considered. “Maybe some drinking and some dancing will... will inspire me...” Taylor suggested weakly, silently pleading that his partner agree, hoping to avoid the argument if he refused again; and the self loathing of giving in.

Taylor waited with baited breath as his boyfriend considered, his pulse racing loudly in his ears as he closed his eyes and tried not to squirm away from the other man’s unsettling touch. Finally his partner sighed, his hand dropping from Taylor’s arm as he moved off of the bed. “I don’t get you sometimes, babe.” He grunted, moving to the dresser and rooting through for some fresh clothes to wear, as Taylor’s breath escaped him in an explosive but carefully silenced sigh of relief. “You used to be gagging for it, now it’s like you just don’t fucking wanna be around me at all.” He continued grumpily.

 _Because I don’t._ Taylor’s eyes snapped open at the realisation, his gaze lowering to his lap but seeing straight through himself as the truth finally dawned on him. _I’m happier, not being around you, not being groped or fondled and just... doing my own thing. Like today... with Jake._ He thought to himself, the epiphany striking with an overwhelming rush of relief and frustration combined. _But I shouldn’t. I shouldn’t be happy to be spending time with another guy... just because he’s gorgeous and charming and cocky and... and everything I want..._ He swallowed thickly, shaking himself from his thoughts as he took a deep breath and blinked dazedly, looking across the room to where his boyfriend was peering at him in obvious irritation. “Huh?” He hummed stupidly, his boyfriend rolling his eyes as he realised he’d been too spaced out to hear him.

“I said, you’re gonna have to change.” His partner said, gesturing to Taylor’s adventuring gear with a sneer of disdain. “They ain’t gonna let you in if you’re wearing that crap. You should probably take a shower too... what the hell fucking kind of aftershave did you use this morning? You smell like shit.” He added, gesturing to the bathroom with a frown.

Taylor blinked in confusion, before his cheeks slowly began to warm, realisation settling in his stomach as he looked down and clutched at the edge of the bed. _It’s Jake._ He thought distantly, his breath quickening as a pleased hum began to reverberate beneath his skin. _I must smell like Jake... from when he-_ He cleared his throat, hurrying to his feet with a vague mumble and stepping quickly into the bathroom, his heart racing as he caught sight of the guilty flush on his cheeks. He paused, gazing at his reflection and noticing for the first time that there was a sense of joy, of life in his eyes; one which he couldn’t remember seeing now for some time. He frowned slowly, irritation rising as he thought of the pilot and the way he seemed to have undermined every belief Taylor held true of himself. _I am not this person. I don’t cheat; I don’t suffer cheaters._ He thought firmly, shaking his head as he turned and closed the door, before stripping off and stepping into the shower.

Despite reaching for the tap, Taylor paused, his head turning slightly as he tried to pick up on whatever scent the pilot had left on him. Despite his best efforts, the best he could garner was the faint hint of whiskey. He wrinkled his nose, not sure why the scent was apparently so awful, but deciding to appease his boyfriend as much as he could after his rebuffed attempt at intimacy. Without waiting further, he turned on the taps and gasped at the immediate spray of water; ignoring his racing heart as he instead focused on the feel of the water against his skin, washing away his guilt and his confusing thoughts as much as he could in preparation for his evening.

Three hours later, Taylor was swaying on a packed dance floor, his thoughts sufficiently numbed by the copious amounts of alcohol which he’d consumed in an effort to forget that there was somewhere else he’d very much have preferred to be. He smiled awkwardly as his partner wrapped his arm around his waist, squirming away from the other mans warning to others that he was taken. He kept his gaze averted, as he tried to flash his partner a coy smile, knowing in his heart that the outward expression would not reach his eyes. He looked out across the crowd, his heart conflicted by the various couples he saw together; laughing, smiling and sharing heated looks of desire. _That should be me... should be us._ He thought distantly, his smile twisting into a brief grimace before he looked away, attempting to focus on the movement of his body and the pulse of the music beneath his skin. He lost track of time as he danced, managing to drift away to a quieter corner of the dance floor, before finally feeling eyes which made his heart skip a beat settle upon him. Almost instinctively he raised his eyes and looked over to the bar, where he already knew Jake was standing; watching him with a carefully neutral expression.

The pilot raised his hand in a brief salute, before turning away and hailing the bar tender. “Babe?” Taylor’s attention snapped abruptly back to his boyfriend, having approached while Taylor was distracted. He looked down at him with a frown, before he glanced towards the bar with a hardening expression. “I’m right fucking here you know?” He said, his eyes darkening as he scowled at Jake’s turned back for a moment. “What the hell are you making eyes at another guy for?”

“What?” Taylor asked, his brow furrowing as he tried to remember how he’d looked at Jake. _Did I stare?_ He wondered, thinking quickly as he tried to understand the sudden swell of jealousy and fury which seemed to permeate his partners aura. _Did I say something? Wink? Did I do anything..?_ He swallowed thickly, licking his lips as he plastered an unconvincing, confused grin to his face. “I don’t know what you mean... I was thinking of getting some more drinks in was all.” He said, feigning a light indifference.

“Yeah, right.” His partner snorted, his eyes hard as he peered down at Taylor accusingly. “You were just eye fucking that guy, and you have the fucking gall to lie about it to my damn face.” He sneered, gritting his teeth as stepped closer and reached around him to curl his hands possessively across Taylor’s ass. “You don’t wanna fuck me, but you’ll fucking eye shag some fucking stranger-“ he accused, as Taylor grimaced and wrenched himself free of his partners hold.

“Stop it!” He hissed, glancing around the dance floor with mounting anxiety, desperately hoping nobody would notice his partners lurid groping. “I’m not some goddamn puppet for you to just... just feel up whenever you’re bloody horny! We’re in public!” He said, running a hand through his hair as he stepped back and to the side, dodging off the dance floor awkwardly. “I just want a drink. That wasn’t something illegal last I checked.” He insisted, grimacing as his partner rolled his eyes and snorted, sneering as he turned away and continued to dance.

“Whatever, babe.” He scoffed, shaking his head as he eyed the man beside him and began to vaguely dance with him. Taylor frowned, wondering why he wasn’t more offended by the obvious attempt to make him jealous, before rolling his eyes and heading for the bar, his irritation spiking and wiping out the pleasant buzz from his previous drinking. Several people eyed him curiously, even sympathetically as he marched towards the bar, his mood worsening with every glance of pity and quickly muttered ‘are you okay’ which he received. He paused only to snap vague replies that he was fine, before stomping determinedly to the bar and ordering himself three shots of Tequila Rose, as well as a large Whiskey; which he firmly told himself was _not_ because it made him think of the pilot stood further down the bar. He chatted vaguely with the bartender for a moment, though his obviously sour mood soon had the young man moving away to serve other customers.

Taylor was left to simmer in his own frustration, downing his first shot quickly as he scowled at the bar, before moving on to his second with more thoughtful precision and drinking his final, third shot with slow patience, relishing the soft taste of the strawberry, quickly chased by the kick of the Tequila. He shared brief murmurs of greeting with various people who stepped up to the bar beside him, nursing his Whiskey contemplatively and trying to work through his various conflicting thoughts and emotions. _What the hell am I even doing?_ He wondered, narrowing his eyes at his drink. _I hate him touching me._ He admitted to himself, sucking in a deep breath and exhaling it shakily, before taking a small sip of his Whiskey. _And yet... when Jake-_ he paused, shaking his head and suddenly gulping the rest of his drink; signalling the bartender for a repeat order. _Am I really this person? I don’t want to do anything with the guy I’m actually dating, but I wanna-_ he coughed abruptly, dislodging the thought and grabbing one of his new shots; downing it quickly as he reached for his wallet to pay. He tossed a note onto the bar, not caring if he was overpaying as he slowly worked through his new plethora of drinks.

He ignored the next presence which stepped up beside him, too lost in his own musings to care if he was assumed to be rude. _How do I fix this? How can I put things right in this... this stupid facade of a relationship... if I-_ he tensed, gritting his teeth as he curled his fingers around his second shot refill; his heart lurching as the epiphany perched at the edge of his thoughts. _I don’t... want-_ he gasped, quickly downing the thick liquid as he struggled to accept the ease and the relief which came attached to the realisation.

“Ya look like ya just ate a lemon whole.” The quiet comment startled Taylor, causing him to yelp and jump, almost spilling his remaining shot. He turned an accusing glance to his side, but whatever admonishment he’d been about to voice, died on his lips. “What, I got somethin’ on my... ever so handsome, face?” Jake asked, raising a brow as his eyes flicked over Taylor, his lip quirking slightly when Taylor finally snorted and shook his head; turning away to focus once more on his drinks. They stood quietly for a moment, while Taylor drank his final shot and lowered the glass to the bar thoughtfully, his heart hammering in his chest at the thoughts and feelings which conflicted in his head. “What, ain’t talkin’ to me anymore? I saw ya sayin’ howdy to the other saps who decided to try their luck with ya, so I’m guessin’ it’s a personal thing...”

Taylor’s lips slowly curled with amusement despite his best efforts to resist, warmth spreading through him as the alcohol began to once more create a pleasant hum beneath his skin. “You should take it as a compliment,” he said leadingly, glancing across at Jake with a sly grin. “That I'm talking to everyone here but you.” He snickered, sighing as he raised his glass and tipped it sarcastically against Jake’s, winking at the pilot’s raised brow.

“Oh?” Jake asked, looking down at his drink with a small frown, before glancing across at the dance floor, a frown marring his brow. “Here I was thinkin’ I’d got ya in trouble.” He commented lightly, turning back to Taylor as he lowered his eyes to his drink, feeling a rush of embarrassment warm his cheeks. “Weren’t my intention when I came up to this poor excuse of a-“

“Then why _did_ you come up here?” Taylor interrupted, his heart quickening in his chest, as he curled his hand tighter around his glass and took a hurried gulp, swallowing heavily before raising his eyes to Jake with a frown. “You said before there wouldn’t be anyone you’d be interested in up here...” He said, his heart leaping into his throat as Jake’s eyes darted away guiltily, before returning to him with a hesitant grimace.

“Yeah,” he sighed, running a hand through his hair as if he’d been caught out in an embarrassing lie. “But.. that was before I heard ya were up here.” Jake admitted quietly, rolling his eyes and clearing his throat as he turned back to his drink, gazing down at it determinedly. “I wanted...” He began, grimacing as Taylor watched him, holding his breath as his heart raced; torn between excitement and the lingering guilt which tried to gnaw at his conscience. “I wanted to see ya again, well I mean, I always wanna see ya again anyway...” He said, shaking his head as he began to drift away from his point. “I wanted to... tell ya I was sorry. I shouldn’t have put ya in that position.” He said at last, sighing as he raised his glass and drained his drink slowly.

Taylor’s heart swelled, the rush of affection he felt surprising him as he realised the man he’d known less than a week had shown him more consideration than his own partner had in months. They sat in awkward, but companionable silence for a heartbeat longer, before Taylor sucked in a deep breath and forced himself to calm his racing pulse, his turbulent thoughts slowly converging into a single desire. “I appreciate it... that you came up here to find me, just for that.” He said quietly, his heart thudding in his throat as he slowly turned on his stool and reached across to hesitantly lay his hand over Jake’s, the pilot tensing as his eyes locked onto the gesture. “But maybe you should’ve considered the consequences of making me want something which... I haven’t wanted in a long time.” He said, biting his lip as he gently stroked across the back of Jake’s. “Of making me want something... some _one_... that I really shouldn’t.” He concluded, his breath catching as Jake visibly swallowed and slowly raised his intense, piercing gaze to Taylor’s.

“And _you_ should think about the consequence,” he said quietly, his fingers tentatively twitching back against Taylor’s, as he eyed him warily. “Of ya touching my hand in a darkened room.” He warned, turning towards Taylor and running his eyes over him with a small frown, seeming to sense the tangle of conflicting emotions within him. “Taylor-“

Taylor ignored the spike in his pulse from hearing the other man finally say his name, interrupting him again as he voiced the urgent question burning in the back of his mind. “Do you have a girlfriend? Boyfriend..? Or, whatever.” He asked, swallowing thickly as he across at Jake, his gaze boring into the other man’s intently.

“What?” Jake snorted, his brows raising in surprise as he shook his head lightly, his lips quirking with confused amusement. “What does that even matter at this point?” He asked in reply, lowering his eyes as he gently dragged his index finger across Taylor’s. “Considerin’... well, I think I made it pretty obvious by now that I like ya, Boy Scout.” He said, shaking his head in mild bemusement.

“It matters to me...” Taylor said quickly, his words escaping him in a rush as he felt himself begin to fall, trapped in place by Jake’s intense gaze. “I uh, I need to know if it was just my...” He paused, glancing across at the dance floor briefly, before looking back at Jake imploringly. “I need to know if there’s other people I’ve betrayed... or that I-I...” Taylor’s throat constricted, choking back the words he wished to say, but he could see in the depths of Jake’s clear eyes; he already understood. “And... also because...” Taylor continued in a rush, his breath catching as he stammered awkwardly. “Also because, I-I’m jealous... of them.” He finally admitted, his words trailing off to a whisper as his lips twisted with guilt.

For an extended heartbeat the pilot said nothing, locked into the silent heated exchange with Taylor, as he squirmed and fidgeted on his barstool impatiently. “I ain’t cared about anyone in a long time, Boy Scout. Didn’t wanna.” Jake finally sighed, his eyes flitting over Taylor quickly as his brow creased in confusion, his own lips quirking with amusement. “Then _you_ came along and pretty much blew that whole plan to hell.” He huffed, his eyes on his hand as his fingers slowly inching towards Taylor’s wrist. “I ain’t with anyone.” He said quietly, raising his eyes to Taylor’s when he groaned with frustration.

“Oh god, Top Gun...” Taylor sighed, rolling his head back towards the bar with exasperation. “If you’re single; I think it’s honestly worse.” He complained quietly, as Jake snorted a quiet laugh and shook his head, his gaze burning Taylor with it’s intensity.

“How’d ya figure that one out exactly, Boy Scout?” Jake snickered, his fingers lightly tracing over Taylor’s wrist, hovering over his clearly racing pulse. “I thought that’d be a good thing... gives ya less reason to feel guilty, though honestly; ya didn’t even do anythin’ wrong earlier. Was all me, ya know?” He added, squeezing Taylor’s fingers briefly, before beginning to draw them away.

“Because-!” Taylor said, quickly snatching Jake’s hand before it could fully release him. He tried to calm his racing heart, his breath quickening as he slowly turned back to the pilot with his eyes shrouded by longing. “'Cause you're so gorgeous it actually hurts...” He blurted abruptly, his cheeks immediately burning with embarrassment when Jake chuckled and hummed thoughtfully, his eyes dropping to Taylor’s mouth as he sucked his lower lip between his teeth.

When the pilot looked back up, Taylor was certain his heart stopped, his breath catching indefinitely as he was overwhelmed by desire for the other man. _Ocean blue eyes looking in mine_... He thought distantly, his stomach warming with a fuzzy haze of adrenaline, as he purposely slid to the edge of his barstool. _I feel like I might sink and drown and die._ He mused distractedly, his foot slipping from his stool and sending him sprawling into Jake’s arms, much to the amusement of the other man. “ _Oof_!” He huffed, groaning as the sudden movement and impact combined began to make his head spin. “Urgh... _nooo_ , moving _baaad_... why’re you spinning? Pilot’s are supposed to _fly_ , not spin...” He grumbled, as Jake snorted and laughed softly, before easing himself to his feet.

“C’mon, Boy Scout... let’s get ya some air.” The pilot huffed, helping Taylor brace his weight against him and moving towards the large double doors which led to the balcony. Their escape was well timed, as a couple entered in time to hold the doors open for them, allowing them to slip through with a murmured thanks. Jake said nothing as he helped Taylor to the railing, propping his hands on top with an amused grin. “How much’ve you even _had_?” He wondered aloud, smirking as Taylor pouted at him.

“I haven’t had that much.” Taylor lied glibly, ignoring the knowing snort which Jake gave at his response. “I’ve had... just what I meant to.” He corrected, sniggering at himself as Jake rolled his eyes and grinned wider. “So far.” He added as an afterthought, waving an unsteady finger at the pilot accusingly.

“That so?” Jake snickered, smirking as he snatched Taylor’s accusatory finger from before his face, and gently lacing his own around it and between the others. “Well, lets set the drinkin’ aside for now anyway...” He said leadingly, hesitating a moment, before stepping closer to Taylor. “And let’s get back to that whole; ‘ya gorgeous’ thing ya were just sayin’...” He prodded, his lips twitching with amusement as Taylor turned to lean against the railing, a quiet laugh escaping him as he looked at Jake with fond exasperation. “Aw, c’mon Boy Scout... it’s probably the friendliest thing ya said to me so far. Can’t blame a guy for-”

“Oh please,” Taylor snorted, rolling his eyes as he smiled against his best attempts not to. “I mean, you have seen yourself, right?” He snickered, barely reacting as Jake took another dangerous step closer, save for to lay his free hand lightly atop his chest. “You already know that you’re... so, gorgeous.” He sighed, humming contently as Jake’s free hand rose to lightly drag the backs of his knuckles across his cheek. “But, I’m not supposed to say anything to your face...” He muttered, frowning as he remembered his previous thought’s about the pilot and the obvious attraction he felt to the man.

“Oh?” Jake laughed, the deep rumble vibrating through Taylor’s hand as he cleared his throat and took a final shuffling step closer, leaving him far too close to be anything but intimate, though Taylor couldn’t find the desire to push the man away. “And uh, why’s that, exactly?” He asked quietly, his eyes slowly following the back of his thumb as it trailed across his cheekbone, unknowingly leaving a trail of fire in his wake on Taylor’s skin.

“Well, I mean... well 'cause look at your face!” Taylor finally groused, pouting as Jake tried and failed to keep a smug grin from his face at the remark. “I didn’t want anything to happen to it... when he inevitably decided to punch it.” Taylor huffed and turned away, pretending he couldn’t hear Jake’s amused laughter or feel the blush which stained his cheeks as he looked at the floor with a determined scowl. “And I'm so furious at you...” He hissed, his fingers clenching in Jake’s t-shirt as he sucked in a quick gasp of air, his heart racing faster with every word he uttered. “For making me feel this way.” He admitted, his breath leaving him in a hurried choke, as Jake’s thumb froze against his cheek. “But what can I say?” He sighed, as Jake’s hand dropped to his chin, forcing him to raise his eyes and meet the pilot’s intense gaze, as his own hand tightened in Jake’s t-shirt. “You're gorgeous...” He breathed, gazing at the other man with open confusion and desire.

“Ya ain’t so shabby yaself, ya know?” Jake murmured, drawing in a deep breath and shaking his head, as if unable to believe he actually had Taylor in his arms before him. “Ya so beautiful, it hurts Taylor. I thought that as soon as I met ya... and I never thought for a second-“ he paused, exhaling a heavy sigh through his nose as he blinked and swallowed thickly. “I knew ya were, uh... involved, with that idiot, but I also knew ya weren’t happy.” He said quietly, catching Taylor’s chin with his thumb and index finger to keep him from lowering his eyes; unaware of the effect his words had on him, as Taylor’s heart raced, his blood seeming to boil beneath his cheeks as a furious blush. “I didn’t set out to... to win ya over. I just, I hated to see ya so damn miserable all the time. I know how that feels, that desire to please; like ya ain’t good enough, like ya gotta knuckle down and do as ya told in order to keep whatever sorry excuse of a relationship ya got goin’...” He said, his words coming faster with his determination and urgency to explain himself. “Ya don’t deserve that. It ain’t ya fault. And... I just wanted to show ya that, to see ya smile again. ‘Cause honestly, ya got the most amazin’ damn smile I’ve ever seen...” He said quietly, as Taylor’s heart crashed against his ribs, his breath catching as his eyes glazed and stung with unshed tears of disbelief and awe. “Taylor... I ain’t ever wanted anything, as bad as I want you. Ya ain’t mine... but godammit, I want ya to be.”

Taylor made an incoherent sound, closing his eyes as he tipped his forehead to Jake’s shoulder, his chest shuddering beneath the heavy emotions which rushed through him at the other man’s confession. His heart raced, his thoughts trying to catch up to the words he’d heard but couldn’t fully process. _How can I spend so long not feeling anything like this; and then end up feeling it all at once..? For a stranger..._ He wondered, his disbelief staining his thoughts with an edge of incredulity. “You make me so happy,” He muttered beneath his breath, half hoping the pilot wouldn’t hear him, though he knew from the added weight of Jake’s hand at the nape of his neck that he had. “But it always turns back to sad.”

“What? Why?” Jake demanded suddenly, straining to pull back and encourage Taylor to raise his head, searching his face with a frown as Taylor peeled his eyes open. “Gotta admit, that ain’t where I thought or hoped that comment was goin’, Boy Scout.” He added, his lips quirking upwards again as Taylor snorted and rolled his eyes in exasperation.

“Because...” He sighed, glancing down at his hand on Jake’s chest, to where his fingers curled tightly into his t-shirt. “Because there’s nothing I hate more...” he paused, swallowing heavily around the words which lodged in his throat, his eyes widening faintly as he became aware of Jake’s heart, pounding beneath his hand. “Nothing... I hate more, than what I can’t have.” He forced himself to say, finally raising his eyes to Jake’s with a broken and tormented frown. “You’re so gorgeous,” he said slowly, shaking his head as Jake watched him patiently, his hand slowly trailing to cup the side of Taylor’s throat. “And it makes me so mad...” Taylor breathed, his eyes locking with Jake’s and revealing the sincerity behind his words. “Because no matter how much I tell myself it’s wrong, or I can’t or I shouldn’t... despite fighting it with everything I have; I want yo-“

Taylor’s breath left him in a soft moan, as Jake’s lips descended on his own with as much hunger and passion as they had earlier in the day. There was a fragile tentativeness to the pilot’s kiss which melted Taylor’s racing heart, desire waking and surging within him as he slowly slid his hand from Jake’s chest to his shoulder and higher into his long hair, distantly marvelling at its softness. “Mmm...” He hummed, his lips parting for Jake’s at the gentle swipe of his tongue. As the kiss deepened and grew more urgent, Jake’s arm slid around Taylor’s waist, pulling him closer as he continued to cup his cheek with a surprisingly soft touch. He panted quietly as the pilot pulled away sooner than he expected, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he knocked his forehead to Taylor’s and gazed at him intently.

“I want nothin’ more, than to take ya back to my room right now...” Jake murmured quietly, his eyes tracing over the furious blush which Taylor could feel burning itself onto his cheeks. The pilot swallowed heavily, shaking his head minutely as he drew in a deep breath to steady himself.  “But considerin’ how pigheadedly guilty I know ya would feel; and probably already do,” he added with a small huff, his lips curling into Taylor’s favourite crooked grin. “I ain’t gonna...” He said, tracing his thumb over Taylor’s lip longingly.

“Well, I mean...” Taylor said, pausing as he bit his lip, dislodging Jake’s thumb briefly before kissing it softly. “I uh, I might need somewhere to stay later... if I, I’m gonna...” He hesitated, looking down at where his body fit snugly against Jake’s as he tried to organize his thoughts into something more coherent. _Am I really gonna do this..?_ He wondered briefly, before Diego’s voice crowed loudly through his head. _Hell fucking yes you’re gonna do this, Taylor! Now go already, r-rated steamy action, remember? So help me assbutt, if you don’t get to the breaking up and the smooching soon; I’m gonna come over there and beat you with a goddamn spoon!_ Taylor chuckled breathlessly, raising his eyes to meet Jake’s patient yet concerned gaze. “I need to talk to-“ he paused, huffing a half amused snicker as his gaze softened. “I need to end things, before I can... do _this_.” He said, gesturing between Jake and himself hesitantly. “But... if you could help me back to my room to grab my things, and I mean, it’s only really one thing ‘cause I don’t really have anything of my own that’s important...” He rambled, before biting his lip, forcing himself to pause and take a deep breath. “After that I... well, I’ll need to either get another room for myself or-“

 

“Nope.” Jake scoffed, stepping back as he beamed a cocky grin at Taylor. “I ain’t givin’ ya a chance to change ya mind. Not when ya finally seein’ that ya worth more than that piss for brains has been makin’ ya out to be...” He snorted, extricating himself from Taylor and offering him his arm with a playful wink. “Ya ready to go restart ya life?” He asked, unable to keep the eagerness from his tone, as Taylor laughed quietly and accepted his arm with an exasperated roll of his eyes.

 

“Taylor?” Taylor’s previous good mood vanished, his heart stilling in his chest, before plummeting to his gut like a stone. He turned his eyes to the balcony door, where a familiar tense form was blocking the exit. “What the fuck is this, exactly? Why the fuck is some loser touching you right now?” He demanded, his distrustful gaze flicking between Taylor and Jake accusingly. “Dammit, I knew from the way you were eye fucking him... I knew you were sleeping around!” He growled, pointing towards Taylor viciously, as his expression twisted into a furious snarl. “You dirty little-“

“Wanna watch ya tone there, Poolside Barbie. Don’t think there’s any need to be throwin’ nasty names around...” Jake snarked, his hand discreetly squeezing Taylor’s arm in reassurance. “Boy Scout had a little too much too drink, a little too quick; I brought him out here for some air. Was just about to walk him home, so he could get some much needed sleep.” He explained vaguely, his hard glare locked onto the other man opposite them.

“Like fuck, I saw him inside, eyeing you up when he was supposed to be dancing with me!” Taylor’s soon to be former partner raged, seething as he began to pace before the doorway, his eyes dropping to where Taylor and Jake’s arms were linked. “He wouldn’t even let me fucking touch him, so why the fuck else is he letting you? Unless your-“

“Stop it, stop it, stop it!” Taylor cried, his voice slowly rising to a yell as his heart leapt back to his throat, his temper flaring at the insinuation of his premeditated betrayal. “Just stop it, for god’s sake! I wasn’t well, Jake was just... helping me!” He insisted, shaking his head and sucking in a deep breath as he curled his free arm around his stomach, nausea biting at his gut as he tried to fight off the urge to hyperventilate. _Taylor don’t you dare relapse now, not when you’re nearly there! C’mon, assbutt! You can do this!_ Diego’s voice yelled in his head, though for once; Taylor had no intention of slinking away like the he had done something wrong. He stepped forward, freeing himself from Jake’s helping hand and standing as tall as he was able, wobbling only once as he was struck by the force of all the alcohol he had consumed. “I-“ he gasped, pausing to briefly press the back of his hand to his mouth, closing his eyes as he tried to breathe through the nausea he felt.

“Boy Scout-“ Jake began, reaching for his arm again in concern, though Taylor waved him off with a weak grin. The pilot grimaced and hesitantly withdrew, his eyes darting to the irate man blocking their exit as his lip curled into a sneer, as he stuffed his hands into his pockets and watched the pair warily; while still allowing them some minor privacy, by leaning his back against the railing.

“What the fuck is this ‘Boy Scout’ shit?” Taylor frowned at the half spat question, his eyes drifting over the man before him as if seeing him for the first time. He sighed, a long exhale of weariness and exasperation; mostly aimed at himself for allowing them to have reached such a point in their relationship, however dysfunctional it had become. “Look, lets get the fuck outta here already. We can talk about it back at our room.” The man before him sneered, casting a distasteful sneer towards Jake as he strode forward and snatched Taylor’s hand by the wrist. “I said, lets-“

“No.” Taylor breathed, rocking forward on the balls of his feet, but locking his legs into place; refusing to allow himself to be moved against his own wishes. “No, I’m not going anywhere with you.” He said, slowly raising his eyes to meet his imminently ex boyfriend’s stunned gaze. He wrenched his wrist free, frowning as he looked down to the already bruising flesh, before half curling his fist towards his chest. “Jake wasn’t taking me back to the room to sleep...” He said in a rush, shaking his head as he took an unsteady step backwards. “He was taking me back, so that I could get my photo. At this point, it’s the only thing I even care about... it’s the only thing I even have that’s _mine_!” He said, sucking in an abrupt deep breath, as he swallowed heavily and furrowed his brow. “I... I gave up _everything_ for you. My job, my apartment, my friends, my _family_...” He breathed, his words exploding from him in a relieved rush, his heart lightening as he finally admitted the truth of their relationship aloud. “You took _everything_ I had... and I _let_ you.” He said thickly, swallowing audibly and scrubbing the back of his hand beneath his eyes roughly. “But I’m _done_. I’m tired of trying to fix this mess, of being the only one to make allowances, to ever compromise..! I’m done being your damn _pet_!” He cried, his breath quickening as his almost former partner’s expression darkened ominously. “I am worth _more_ , than being some... some pampered, _sex toy_ -“

“Oh, please babe, you’re hardly fucking that.” The other man scoffed, rolling his eyes as his hands clenched into fists at his sides. “You never even let me fucking touch you anymore, let alone actually _fuck_ you... No, apparently, you save that for bloody strangers.” He grunted, scowling at Jake briefly, as the pilot narrowed his eyes at him in warning. “So what, you think this prick is gonna want you? You’re fucking insane, babe! This asshole wants a nice easy lay to make his holiday; and what? You’re gonna seriously break up with me, for that?” He demanded, snorting and rolling his eyes as he stepped forward and made to take Taylor’s wrist again. “Stop being such a goddamn idiot. You wanna fuck at last, you know I’m more than up for it. All you had to do was say the word-“

“Ya touch him again, I’m gonna take ya damn arm off, G.I.Schmoe.” Jake warned lowly, though he never moved from the railing, as Taylor managed to avoid the hand which reached for him. Taylor flashed the pilot a brief glance, before facing forward again, sucking in a deep breath and exhaling slowly, as he forced himself to stand straighter.

“I-“ he choked, pausing as nausea rolled in his gut, a weak groan of discomfort escaping him as he tried to regain control of himself. Finally he stood straight, his eyes reflecting both pain and determination as he glared at the stunned man before him. “I don’t love you anymore... whatever we had, it’s gone.” He said, his voice wavering briefly despite his best efforts, as his hands clenched at his sides. “I’m sorry. But I’m tired of wasting my life away in a flat; alone and miserable, because the only thing you want me for is to cook, to clean and to fuck. I can’t- oof!” Taylor gasped as a fist connected abruptly with his jaw, his hands waving in the air before him and barely saving him from face-planting on the ground, as he was knocked from his feet by the blow.

“Ya goddamn bastard!” Jake’s furious bellow was lost to Taylor, his heart racing as he blinked dazedly and shook his head, groaning as he braced himself on one trembling arm, his free hand rising to the sore area on his jaw. He winced, barely noticing the sounds of fighting above him as he hissed with pain and slowly lowered himself to the ground, resting his forehead to the balcony floor as he tried to quell the nausea which swelled in his gut. Taylor lost track of time, his breathing slowly evening with the lull of a half doze, as the sound of fighting lingered somewhere above his head.

Finally, Taylor felt hands tentatively curl over his shoulders, gently prying him from the cold hard flooring and slowly rolling him to his side. “Nnng...” Taylor groaned, grimacing as his stomach seemed to roll entirely of it’s own accord. He struggled weakly, gritting his teeth and shaking his head in faint denial, as he felt a rush of unwelcome warmth spread through him.

“Easy, Boy Scout...” Jake’s soft drawl comforted his uneasiness, though he still squirmed to free himself as he felt the unpleasant churning of his stomach grow and surge. “’S alright, let it out...” The pilot soothed, rubbing his back gently as Taylor reluctantly vomited the contents of his stomach onto the balcony floor. “There we go... ya’ll feel better once it’s out, Taylor. Don’t fight it.” Jake continued to soothe, patiently waiting for Taylor to finish and soothing him as best he could. “Alright, Boy Scout... let’s get ya somewhere ya can rest.” He finally murmured, when the worst of Taylor’s sickness seemed to have abated, leaving him sweaty and exhausted but finally feeling more himself.

“Nnnng...” Taylor protested weakly, as he felt himself rise into the air, strong arms curling securely behind his knees and back. He curled into the pilot’s chest, squeezing his eyes tight against the dizzying motion sickness he felt and attempting to focus himself on his breathing instead. His thoughts drifted lazily, a brief smirk gracing his lips when he imagined calling Diego the following day, before his amusement was chased away by exhaustion. “Hmmm!” He sighed, as he was laid carefully onto a soft mattress, immediately rolling onto his side and curling into a tight ball; heedless of the covers which were laid over him, as he slid into a deep sleep, which was blissfully free of dreams.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact; for incase you were wondering. 
> 
> Taylor's relationship in this is based off of my former relationship. The mannerisms and behaviour his partner showed (the controlling, the touch with hidden meaning, the jealousy and isolating behaviour) were all things my ex did.  
> If you find it unbelievable; then I guess I didn't do a very good job of describing it - and I'm sort of in two minds as to whether that is actually better or not than people knowing how soul destroying it can really feel.
> 
> Anyway; just wanted to put that out there. Taylor = me (except he will probably make a miraculous recovery next chapter)  
> ;)
> 
> Thanks again for reading <3


	5. In Our Hopes And Dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry
> 
> i ruin

**Gorgeous.**

**5**

Taylor was warm and comfortable when he finally began to rouse into wakefulness, unaware of how long had passed or in fact anything past the vague sense of contentment which seemed to purr in his chest. He drew in a deep breath to sigh happily, only for the motion to sadly reawaken the nausea which had thankfully remained dormant while he slept. “Nnng...” He whined, attempting to bury his face into the pillow as he curled his knees to his chest, grimacing at the roiling discomfort which seemed to flow throughout his entire body. “Ohhh... bad, bad Tequila...” He muttered, whimpering as he felt familiar and entirely unwelcome warmth spread through him rapidly. He groaned when the bed dipped behind him, grimacing and weakly trying to scoot away, not wanting to have to satisfy his boyfriend’s appetite; especially while he clearly wasn’t well. “ _Nooo_...” He complained petulantly, wishing he felt strong enough to squirm away properly, but not daring the movement in fear of encouraging the nausea he felt.

“Easy...” The soft whisper made him whine, squeezing his eyes closed as he curled himself into a tighter ball, desperately wishing the hand which gently tried to ease his head from the bed would stop and just go away. A dry chuckle reached his ears, and Taylor was mortified to realise he’d been mumbling his thoughts aloud. “Just, lift up... ‘kay?” A low murmur suggested, as Taylor shivered and tried again to scoot away from the hand which drifted from his head to his shoulders.

“No, go ‘way. ‘m sick... I dun wanna!” He whined, his brow furrowing as the arm beneath his shoulder paused abruptly, halfway lifting him from the bed. “Lemme ‘lone... not in t’e mood.” He groused pitifully, groaning and curling his arms around his roiling stomach as the arm beneath his shoulders eased him back to the bed, once more shifting behind him, as a sigh hung in the air ominously. Taylor felt his body tensing, expecting the imminent touch, the words which would inspire guilt to flare in his heart. He waited, his breath quickening as his nausea was worsened by the rising anxiety which he felt begin to gnaw at his sensitive gut. He whined, turning his face into the pillows again and wincing at the sharp pain which lanced through his jaw. “Urgh...” He panted quietly, waves of heat pulsing through him as he felt his nausea churn more drastically.

The bed dipped again, in front of him this time; and moments later a soft, cool and damp cloth was draped over his brow, causing him to both sigh and hiss as the sudden contrast and relief to his burning skin. “Easy...” The whisper repeated, strangely soothing in its patient gentility, as fingers gently curled beneath Taylor’s cheek and encouraged him to raise his head. He whined, resignation settling in his gut, before he was surprised by the gentle press of a cool glass against his lips. He hummed in vague confusion, but dutifully took a cautious sip, immediately groaning when his stomach cramped with dangerous threat. “Here.” The soft voice said, the glass withdrawing to be quickly followed by the gentle press of a small round object to his lips. He groaned, attempting to turn his head away, only for light fingers cupping his cheek to stop him. “C’mon... open up.” The voice continued lowly, though there was a mild hint of amusement and exasperation within it.

Taylor whined, about to complain when the small object was quickly pressed into his mouth; the glass quickly returning and encouraging him to take another small sip. “That’s it...” The voice sighed, relief clear in it’s low tone as the glass withdrew once more from his lips. “Now, get some rest, ‘kay?” The voice ordered softly, as the fingers against Taylor’s cheek moved higher, brushing lightly through his now clammy short hair, before disappearing altogether. Taylor hummed, curling into a tight ball beneath the sheets as he rubbed his face against the pillow, before slowly drifting back to sleep.

The next time Taylor woke, he was pleased to note that his stomach was quiet, no longer roiling with flares of heat or nausea. He drew in a deep breath and exhaled slowly through his nose, humming in quiet contentment as he hesitantly uncurled himself and rolled onto his back. He winced at the mild headache he felt thrumming in his skull, but was pleased to note that it wasn’t as bad as he’d of expected. “Urgh, I’m never drinking Tequila again...” He muttered, immediately groaning at the thickness of his throat and mouth. He threw his arm over his eyes and sighed, when he felt his bladder begin to protest his remaining in bed any longer.

“Don’t go blamin’ the Tequila,” an amused voice drawled, the bed dipping beneath another persons newly added weight. “Ain’t _it’s_ fault ya drank enough to knock out a small rhino.” The newcomer snickered, as Taylor shifted his arm slightly and reluctantly cracked an eyelid open to glare at the faintly blurred visage of a clearly amused Jake. “How the hell much did ya drink last night anyway?” He wondered idly, reaching towards Taylor’s forehead and removing the now dry compress from his brow. “Was a killer of a hangover ya went through... almost called up the dumbass nurse they keep on site.” He admitted, flashing Taylor a small, lopsided grin.

Taylor frowned, lowering his arm from his eyes as he blinked and gazed at Jake with a curious frown. “Top Gun..?” He murmured, grimacing at the lingering sensation of having cotton in his mouth. “Urgh, I feel like I was trampled by a herd of angry hippo’s... what the hell happened last night?” He said, tensing as he looked over Jake’s shoulder to see an unfamiliar room slowly growing less blurry by the second. “Oh god...” He gasped, sitting up abruptly and looking down at himself, still dressed in his clothes from the night before. “Did I..? Did we..? Oh god, please tell me-“

“Calm down already, ya idiot.” Jake snorted fondly, flicking the collar of Taylor’s shirt. “Ya think I’d have dressed ya again after finally gettin’ to see what’s underneath?” He asked, smirking as Taylor felt his entire face burn. “I’m gonna let it slide this once, on account of ya  probably havin’ a concussion... but if ya really think I’d let ya do somethin’ I know ya’d only regret, then I guess we ain’t come to know each other as well as I thought we had.” Taylor lowered his eyes, feeling suitably admonished for his rambling as he bit his lip shyly. “Though considerin’ there ain’t a reason for ya to feel guilty anymore, I wouldn’t exactly find it so easy to turn ya away if ya did come and try to tempt me.” Jake added, snickering when Taylor rolled his eyes in exasperation and moved to swing his legs off the bed.

“Sorry...” He mumbled, his flaming face turned to the floor as he cleared his throat and pushed to his feet. “Just, checking I didn’t embarrass myself... I guess.” He said in a rush, darting away from the bed quickly before Jake could reach for him and heading through the open bathroom door, swiftly closing and locking it behind him; before sagging heavily against the hard wood surface. “Shit.” He cursed quietly, running a hand through his hair in distraction as he tried to think through the events of the previous evening, his mind sadly refusing to cooperate and throwing up regular walls of darkness to obscure his memories.

A gentle tap against the door behind him made Taylor jump, whirling around with a barely contained yelp of surprise. “If ya wanna take a shower go ahead, there’s clean towels in the cupboard and there’s probably a couple god awful uniforms I hid under the sink in there... if ya want ‘em, I mean...” Jake said awkwardly, clearing his throat as Taylor slowly relaxed, his heart softening at the gentle concern he could hear in the other mans tone. “Not that I think ya need ‘em or anythin’ but just, uh...” He paused, seeming to sigh heavily before his voice grew more obscure, apparently backing away from the door. “Just... take ya time.” Jake finally sighed, before Taylor heard his footsteps quickly retreat.

Words of gratitude stuck in his throat, the lingering confusion of the previous night still gnawing at him as he turned and finally looked around the bathroom. His bladder made his first call of action apparent; though once he was done, he decided to take up Jake’s offer of a shower, disliking the stickiness of his clothes against his skin, a common side effect of sleeping fully dressed. He sighed as he slipped them to the floor, stepping into the shower and practically melting under the force of the warm spray which hit him as soon as he turned the taps on. As he showered without hurry, Taylor tried to piece together his evening; managing to make it so far as his drinking at the bar alone, before Jake had joined him. He remembered his forward touch to the man’s hand, a furious blush burning across his face at the memory; and he rapidly turned it up into the spray of the water.

Try as Taylor might however, he could remember little past that point in his evening, except for a vague awareness of pain and an overbearing sense of nausea. He sighed as he shut off the water and stepped out of the shower, realising he would have to ask Jake for details if he really wished to know what else had happened. _Why am I even here?_ He wondered, frowning as he grabbed one of the new, fluffy towels from the cupboard and drying himself quickly, before tying it around his waist. _Why aren’t I in-_ Taylor’s thoughts crashed to a halt with a small gasp, his eyes widening as he turned towards the mirror above the sink. _Oh my god, he’s gonna go nuts... I was out all night, with another guy! He’s never gonna believe I didn’t..._ He exhaled sharply through his nose, gazing almost straight through his reflection, until his gaze was drawn to the light bruising which seemed to be marring his jaw. “What the-?” He murmured, frowning as he raised his hand to the faint mark and wincing at the small sting of pain. _Guess I’m gonna have to ask for those answers, after all._ He thought, grimacing as he stepped back and opened the cabinet beneath the sink, pulling out a still wrapped flight attendant uniform. “Of course.” Taylor snorted, shaking his head as he pulled the plastic wrapping open and tugged the clothing free.

“Why the hell not?” He mused, shrugging his shoulders as he quickly dressed himself between intermittent glances into the mirror to check he hadn’t imagined the bruising. He glanced over himself briefly when he was done, pausing to do a double take of his well emphasized ass, before humming thoughtfully and turning towards the door. He paused, cocking his head as his heart began to flutter with nervous excitement, curious of the strange thrum of anticipation beneath his skin; at seeing the pilot’s reaction to his new appearance. _Taylor so help me, if you don’t stop being an idiot, I’m going to divorce you as my best friend._ Diego’s voice whispered harshly in his head, as Taylor rolled his eyes and squared his shoulders. _You’ve done the hard part; now, go enjoy yourself! Remember, r-rated steamy action, or I’m gonna... get Craig to kick your ass when you get back here!_  Taylor snickered, shaking his head at the high probability of his friend actually doing such a thing. “Okay...” He sighed, sucking in a deep breath and setting his hand on the door handle. “I can do this.” He said assuredly, clearing his throat as he opened the bathroom door and stepped out into the bedroom.

“Jake..?” He called tentatively, seeing the empty bedroom and biting his lip as he hesitantly turned towards the door, stepping through uncertainly. “Jake?” He called across the living room, as he slowly strode forward, his eyes glancing around the modest decorations and few trinkets adorning the room. A single photo frame stood on a cupboard, Jake’s cocky smirk drawing Taylor’s attention towards it as he slowly approached. “... Jake?” He called distractedly, carefully picking up the frame by its edge and examining it slowly. Jake posed near the right corner, two fingers raised in a playful salute, while his other hand ruffled a head of fiery red hair, belonging to a slightly taller woman just to his left who had half turned towards him. The woman’s expression of outrage showed her lack of amusement at such treatment, though Jake’s cocky grin was unfazed by whatever furious yell was aimed towards him.  At the far left side of the picture stood a couple with their arms linked about each other; ignoring the obviously fierce exchange beside them, and gazing at each other with what appeared to be smiles of fond exasperation.

“I always picked on her if I had the chance.” Jake’s quiet murmur from the kitchen doorway made Taylor start, yelping in surprise as he gripped the photo frame tighter to keep from dropping it. He turned to Jake, who was smiling at the photo himself. “She deserved it though, before ya  go takin’ sides or anythin’... Damn brat was a full year and a half younger than me, weren’t fair she was prettier and taller.” He scoffed, shaking his head fondly before turning his eyes to Taylor, his brows rising in surprise when he noticed the new clothes. “Holy shit, I didn’t expect ya’d actually wear ‘em..!” He laughed, his eyes remaining on Taylor far longer than was strictly necessary, as Taylor felt himself blush.

“Well, you did say I could...” He began awkwardly, setting the photo back in place on the cupboard before stepping away and doing a slow and playful turn, making sure to peer over his shoulder to watch Jake’s reaction. He snickered when the pilot’s gaze clearly dropped to his ass, his stubbled cheeks dusting with pink as he swallowed and looked away quickly. Taylor peered down his own back to hide his grin as he hummed thoughtfully. “I think it actually fits fairly well, but... well, I dunno...” He mused lightly, trying not to laugh as he heard Jake  clear his throat, peeking up from beneath his lashes to see the pilot glancing sideways at him with a faint grin on his lips.

“I’ll say...” Jake muttered quietly, clearly not intending for Taylor to hear him. He coughed briefly before gesturing vaguely with his hand. “Well, I mean... I guess ya look alright.” He said dismissively, trying and failing to stop his eyes from darting down to Taylor’s ass before he turned around again.

“Oh...” Taylor hummed, forcing his face into a frown as he bit his lips in feigned contemplation. “Well, I mean I can always go change back into-“ He began, jerking his thumb over his shoulder as he looked up at Jake, desperately willing his expression to hold.

“No!” Jake countered quickly, grimacing when Taylor broke out in a wide, entirely smug grin. He snorted, sighing and relenting to a smirk as he ran a hand through his hair guiltily, looking over at Taylor with such chagrined amusement that Taylor felt his heart flip. “Yeah, alright... guess ya caught me there.” Jake sighed, rolling his eyes and pushing away from the doorway to hide his embarrassment. “Ya look great, Boy Scout... better than.” He added, walking over and standing before Taylor for several silent but comfortable seconds, hesitating before tentatively brushing the back of his finger across Taylor’s bruised jaw. “I could’ve killed him for that.” He said quietly, drawing in a deep breath as his eyes shifted from the mark to Taylor’s dark eyes. “I wanted to.”

“Uh, about that... can you clue me in a little? I’m sort of in the dark up here...” Taylor said slowly, tapping the side of his head as he watched Jake intently, his brow furrowing with the smallest of knits as he cocked his head slightly. “And for some reason I feel like you know why I didn’t just get hit by a dump truck of guilt for flirting with you... for once.” He added, his lips twitching with amusement as he drew in a deep breath, before reaching up to curl his hand around Jake’s, holding it still as he pressed his cheek against the pilot’s palm.

“Damn... ya lethal, Boy Scout... ya know that right?” Jake murmured, swallowing thickly as Taylor lowered his eyes, feeling his cheeks burn with an embarrassed, but not less excited blush. “Tell ya what, answer one question for me; and I’ll tell ya anythin’ and everythin’ ya wanna know... about last night or whenever ya damn well ask about.” He said, flashing Taylor’s favourite crooked grin at him as he finally looked up at him again.

“Urgh, that’s not fair...” Taylor complained, grimacing as he rolled his eyes but ultimately grinned and looked back at Jake. “I swear you know that dumb grin is my secret weakness. I can’t say no to that stupid thing.” He teased, finally lowering his and Jake’s hands from his cheek; though he noticed distantly that the pilot laced their fingers together so he couldn’t entirely release him. “Go on, then.” He sighed, gesturing with his free hand as Jake snickered and smirked at him.

The pilot’s amusement faded slowly, drawing in a deep breath through his nose as he peered at Taylor, as if trying to work out the solution to a particularly vexing puzzle. “Before, when ya had ya lil panic meltdown, thinkin’ we’d done the dirty tango-“ he began, laughing when Taylor immediately flushed a deep red, his entire face blazing with embarrassment. “Well damn, I wish I had a camera right now... Immortalize that look forever.” He huffed, snickering to himself as Taylor tried and failed to contain the twitching of his lips, despite his embarrassment. “Okay, okay... so, back _then_...” He said, his expression slowly melting into seriousness once more. “Why’d ya think ya’d embarrassed yaself?”

Taylor flushed guiltily, averting his eyes as he stepped around the pilot, desperately trying to control the frantic pounding of his heart; not wanting Jake to overhear the loud cacophony and discover how affected he was whenever he was in the other man’s presence. “Just... I don’t remember much past drinking at the bar, save a few odd flashes here and there, so... I just, wasn’t sure if I’d uh, done something embarrassing, ya know?” He grumbled awkwardly, clearing his throat as he purposely kept his back to Jake and avoided meeting his penetrating gaze. “Like uh... like, burst into song or, or... or-“

“Taylor.” Jake said quietly, a silence hanging over them like a thick blanket as Taylor finally stopped rambling, desperately wishing his heart would stop trying to offer itself to Jake in quite such a literal sense, as it clattered loudly against his ribs. He half turned toward the pilot, his eyes on the floor as the other man finally stepped closer, curling his finger beneath Taylor’s chin and gently raising his head. “There really ain’t much point in startin’ to lie and hide shit now. We ain’t needed to so far,” Jake said softly, as Taylor sighed and finally raised his eyes to meet the other man’s gaze. “Ya ain’t gotta start now.”

Taylor grimaced, folding his arms over his chest as he averted his eyes briefly, frustrated with himself at the ease with which Jake managed to break through his every wall and defence. “Easy for you to say...” He muttered, sighing as he tried to mask his discomfort a moment longer, before finally forcing his tense shoulders to relax and attempting to explain himself. “I... I’m not, good.” He said haltingly, peeking up at Jake through his lashes, examining the other man’s frown briefly, before hurriedly looking away. “A-at, ahem, I mean... at, that.” He said lamely, clearing his throat and rolling his eyes at himself, as he felt his cheeks flare with the heat of embarrassment. “Look, I’ve only ever... there’s only been him. And he-“

“Whatever he said is bullshit.” Jake said firmly, ceasing Taylor’s babbling and causing him to look up, surprised by the hard certainty in the other man’s tone. “Whatever crap that asshole told ya, whatever ya got lingerin’, up here...” The pilot said, tapping his finger to Taylor’s forehead briefly. “Ya gotta push it out. It’s poison; it’ll eat ya up from the inside out and make ya feel incompetent. Trust me; everythin’ that jackass ever told ya, just forget it all.” He said bitterly, his lips pursing for a moment as his brow pinched together. “Godammit, ya ain’t a dumbass Taylor... how the hell’d ya end up with an obnoxious prick like that?” He wondered aloud, his eyes running over Taylor’s burning face with obvious frustration and confusion.

“How’d you know it was-“ Taylor began, before sighing and shaking his head, turning away as he swung his arms out to his sides briefly. “He wasn’t always like that, you know?” He said, half defensively. “We met in college. I was kinda struggling and he was kind, made me feel good, you know? He’d see me around and ask how I was doing, we got to chatting... I thought he was sweet.” Taylor explained, feeling strangely numb as he recounted his past, wondering distantly why he wasn’t more upset about the way his relationship had devolved over the time they’d been together. “After we... um,” he said, pausing to glance at Jake as his cheeks warmed tellingly, the pilot chuckling at his apparent innocence. “Well, after that... I don’t know, it’s like he seemed to; change. He’d get antsy if Diego was around too long, and it was always ‘he can see you whenever, babe, I barely get time with you’ and, I don’t know I guess he made me feel good so...”

“So ya started driftin’.” Jake said knowingly, slowly walking after Taylor as he made his way over to the couch and flopped down into a seat with a dramatic huff. “Spent more time with Captain Douchebag; and less with ya friends. Only, it weren’t enough...” He prodded gently, slowly sitting beside Taylor, but leaving him sufficient room enough to move again if he wished. “Ya family-“ he began, breaking off abruptly when he noticed Taylor’s hands immediately balled into fists.

“My family...” Taylor said slowly, sighing as he shook his hands out and forced himself to take a slow, deep breath. He exhaled a heavy puff of air, glancing at Jake with a small, lopsided grin as he ran a hand through his hair. “First off, there’s none of that whole ‘fun’ vibe that’s in your picture.” He snorted, hoisting his thumb towards where Jake’s photo sat on the cupboard. “My mother is a drunk, my dad smokes forty cigarettes a day and wonders why he has problem’s breathing... and my older sister, well...” He sighed, shaking his head as he leaned back on the couch and gazed up at the ceiling. “Well she never did like having a little brother to steal all the attention from her.” He huffed, drawing in a thoughtful breath as he rolled his head along the back of the couch to face Jake. “When I stopped calling them... it was like, they just didn’t notice, to be honest.” He said quietly, his heart aching at the sympathetic; but carefully not pitying expression on the pilots face. He smiled as Jake reached to squeeze his knee reassuringly, before hesitating and instead moving to take his hand, squeezing his fingers encouragingly as Taylor’s heart skipped a beat; endlessly moved by the simple gesture of thoughtfulness. _When was the last time anyone was that considerate towards me?_ He wondered idly, humming as he looked down at Jake’s hand on his own. _When was the last time they had the chance, assbutt?_ Diego’s voice scoffed in reply, as Taylor fought the urge to roll his eyes.

“It was like confirmation.” Jake said lowly, dragging his eyes over Taylor thoughtfully. “That whatever that dumbass Daddy Wannabe said, he was right.” He guessed, though his tone hinted that it was more a statement of fact than a question. Taylor nodded, his lips twisting as he tried to remember what had made him fall so hard and so fast; enough to give up everything he knew.

“Pretty much.” Taylor sighed, choosing not to elaborate any further. “We moved in together, he was supportive of my skipping class to spend time with him... making out and, well, uh...” He said, clearing his throat and refusing to look over at Jake, as he felt his cheeks burn. “Anyway, I ended up getting a final warning about the amount of classes I missed; but with him promising to take care of me while I looked for work, I just, quit.” He said, staring vacantly across the room as his eyes narrowed in thought. “Of course, the job hunting was a bust... and eventually it got to the point that me leaving ‘made him nervous’, so I stopped even going out on my own.” He said, blinking himself from his memories as he turned to Jake with a blatantly false, bright smile. “There ya go, Top Gun. One misery fuelled tale of woe, with yours truly as the-“

“That’s all well and good...” Jake said quietly, squeezing Taylor’s fingers gently. “But it don’t explain why ya think ya’d embarrass yaself, if ya had taken a wild ride with Jake McKenzie last night.” He said, throwing Taylor a proud wink when he laughed. “Lemme guess; he made ya think ya weren’t goddamn gorgeous, and like ya couldn’t satisfy?” He probed lightly, raising a brow when Taylor looked down at his own lap, though his cheeks remained blessedly cool for once.

“I’m not the gorgeous one...” He muttered petulantly, flashing the pilot a brief pouting glare when he laughed quietly, before sighing and brushing the backs of his knuckles together uneasily. “At first... it was shiny, new. It was fun and I wanted it, a lot of it. A real, real lot-“ He grinned fondly, casting a sly glance sideways as Jake pointedly cleared his throat.

“Yeah, yeah I get it, ya were a regular lil rabbit.” He said gruffly, rolling his eyes as Taylor snickered at his obvious frustration. “Boy Scout I’m one more tease away from givin’ ya a spankin’, now c’mon already, ya goddamn brat. Stop stallin’ and spill.”

Taylor felt his cheeks flame with heat, his palms growing sweaty as he balled them in his lap, his eyes firmly locked on his hands as Jake hummed thoughtfully at the reaction. _Okay, that was kinda deserved... but what the hell is this? That is... not something I thought I was into._ Taylor thought distantly, not daring to look at the pilot lest he see the depth of his interest. “Well, it didn’t take long after I stopped seeing... well, anyone but him... before I-“ Taylor paused, inhaling sharply and swallowing back his discomfort, shifting slightly in his seat as he narrowed his eyes in determination. “I lost all interest.” He said in a rush, peeking up at Jake briefly, only to find a knowing gleam in his eyes. The pilot almost reached for his arm, but instead pulled his hand back to his own lap, nodding his head in understanding and waiting patiently for him to continue. “I-it wasn’t some conscious decision, I just... I don’t know, it’s like; he’d have this way of touching me, like...” He hesitated, barely noticing the increase in his breathing as he half turned and gave the pilot a questioning look. At Jake’s small nod, Taylor swallowed audibly and reached over with an unsteady hand, dragging his fingertips slowly and suggestively down Jake’s arm, barely repressing a shudder of disgust at the reminder of his circumstances.

“And that was the signal.” Jake murmured quietly, capturing Taylor’s fingers in his grasp before he could fully retrieve his hand and squeezing gently to offer him strength. “That he was good to go, and expected ya to feel the same.” He said, stating the comment as fact, as opposed to asking. He drew in a deep breath, averting his eyes as a muscle pulled taut in his jaw. “I should’ve hit him at least another half dozen times.” He muttered quietly, also; Taylor noted with a small twitch of amusement curling his lip, a statement of fact.

“Maybe, but at least this way you were actually still free to look after my drunk ass.” Taylor snickered softly, shaking his head as he sighed slowly. “God only knows what state I would have been in had you been arrested for beating him to a pulp.” He snorted, raising a brow when Jake laughed and turned back to him with a smug grin.

“Nah, got a buddy on the security here.” He said, grinning crookedly in the way which made Taylor’s heart beat just that little bit faster. “He took ya ex into custody last night and chucked him in the makeshift drunk tank down by the airstrip.” He said, waggling his brows briefly as his expression turned sly, his eyes flicking down to Taylor’s waist briefly as his face once more tingled with heat. “Course, I can’t say I mind lookin’ after ya ass, drunk or no. It weren’t a big deal to be honest, ya passed out on the way. All I did was put ya to bed and keep an eye on ya... nothin’ special.” He said, his playfulness flowing seamlessly into nonchalance in such a way that Taylor’s stomach fluttered weakly.

“Well, thankyou anyway.” Taylor said, looking away briefly as he smiled, unable to stop the soft affection from blossoming in his chest. “I really appreciat- wait, did you just say ‘keep an eye on’?” He asked, frowning as he turned back to Jake confusedly. “You didn’t stay up all night because of me, did you?” He demanded, guilt clawing at his stomach as he eyed the pilot worriedly.

“Eh, I grabbed a couple hours on here.” Jake said flippantly, waving a hand at the couch dismissively, as Taylor felt a strange and foreign burst of indecipherable emotions within his heart. “Once I was sure ya weren’t gonna choke or somethin’ equally as dumb. Gettin’ that damn cure all from the med guys was a bit of a chore though... don’t think ya were really too with it at the time.” He said quietly, as Taylor flushed guiltily and turned away, recalling the vague and hazy exchange with sudden understanding.

“Oh...” He said, his voice small as he tried to quell the rising surge of affection and appreciation for the pilot and his thoughtful kindness towards him. He swallowed thickly, glancing around the room as he sucked in a deep breath before finally looking back at Jake, pretending he wasn’t aware of his fiercely blazing cheeks. “Thanks.” He said quickly, clearing his throat before hurriedly pushing on. “And uh, did you also say ‘ex’ or, was I just... really out of it?” He asked.

“Nope, ya heard right.” Jake said, a smug grin lighting his face as his cerulean eyes lit with glee. “Was a damn sight to behold. Ya held ya own, stood up to him and told the bastard where to stick his damn controllin’ bullshit. No word of a lie, ya told him straight out; ‘I don’t love ya, what we had is gone.’ I was impressed as hell; and lookin’ forward to whatever else ya were gonna throw at him...” He said, his eyes dropping to Taylor’s bruise as his fingers rose to gently graze the mark, his breath catching when Taylor unconsciously tipped his cheek into the other man’s palm. “But then he sucker punched ya.” He said tightly, his clear eyes darkening with the memory of his fury. “And I swear, I could’ve happily killed the bastard, if Mike hadn’t come and taken the bastard away. Bloody coward.”

“Wow, my hero, huh?” Taylor teased, trying to pretend his heart wasn’t beating wildly in his chest, the sudden overwhelming sense of freedom leaving him giddy and near breathless. “So... I’m uh, I’m...” He babbled, clearing his throat and cocking his head as he giggled nervously, feeling suddenly shy beneath the pilot’s patient gaze. “Wh-what you’re uh, you’re saying is... I’m-“

“Free.” Jake interrupted quietly, his thumb brushing over the faint bruise one last time, before he dropped his hand to his side and averted his eyes. “Ya gonna be able to do all the stuff ya want, when ya want, how ya want... And if ya don’t want, ya don’t ever have to see the bastard again. I can get him shipped off island with the next flight, if ya want.” He continued smugly, looking back at Taylor with a grin. “So, Boy Scout... whaddaya wanna do first?” He asked curiously.

Taylor hesitated, looking down at his lap as his stomach curdled with confusion. _I’m single..._  The thought was tinged by disbelief, his heart leaping with unexpected joy even as his gut churned with guilt for feeling such blatant relief. _I’m allowed to do what I want... no rules, no expectations, no... it’s all up to me._ Taylor balked, exhaling heavily as he pushed to his feet and began to pace, his heart in his throat as the enormity of his own life weighed upon his shoulders, his newfound freedom suddenly seeming a much more daunting cage than his previous, dysfunctional relationship. He giggled awkwardly, a nervous sense of hysteria bubbling in his gut as desires, wishes, fears and hopes lit like fireworks in his heart. “What do I... want?” He breathed, his hands running through his hair and down over his jaw distractedly.

“Hey,” Jake’s low drawl startled him, his eyes widening as he yelped and dodged a step sideways in surprise. “Easy... it’s okay, ya know? Ya got time. Don’t gotta figure everything out right now.” He said, lowering his hand from where he’d been reaching for Taylor’s elbow.

Taylor frowned, overcome with urges he’d not felt in so long, he’d half thought he never would again. “Having...” He began, licking his lips as he lowered his hands slowly, his brow furrowing as he raised his eyes to Jake’s curious gaze. “Having him be like that, all the time... it came to repulse me.” He said in a rush, his eyes clouded with confusion as he hesitantly took a step closer to the pilot. “I didn’t want, couldn’t stand _anyone_ touching me...” He explained, swallowing heavily as he flicked his eyes over Jake curiously, shaking his head as if his own thoughts were unfathomable. “So, _why_? Why did I..?” He wondered aloud, his eyes searching Jake’s piercing and intent gaze, as the pilot waited patiently for him to continue. “Why did I let you kiss me? Why did I tell you my name; and hope it would happen again?” He finally said, his breath catching as Jake’s clear eyes lit with understanding. “Why did I go rock climbing with you at all... knowing that it might happen?” He asked, his hand trembling as he tentatively brushed his knuckles to Jake’s.

“Relationship burnout... don’t make ya a freak.” Jake said quietly, turning his hand and lowering his gaze, as he cautiously turned his hand and laced his fingers loosely with Taylor’s. “Feelin’ like ya ain’t got a choice is the ultimate turn off; and that’s gonna affect ya behaviours and shit... It’s gonna make ya resent anythin’ to do with anythin’ even remotely intimate.” He said, squeezing Taylor’s fingers as he stepped closer, his eyes intently focused on Taylor’s as he tried to convey his sincerity. “But Taylor, for me; it weren’t ever about gettin’ into ya pants. I don’t care if ya never wanna move past two stolen kisses and some hand holdin’...” He said, squeezing Taylor’s hand again in emphasis, as Taylor’s heart crashed against his ribs. “Well, alright... I ain’t gonna lie, I want ya and I sure as hell wouldn’t say no if ya did wanna go further than that... but I don’t... it ain’t important, if it don’t happen. I started talkin’ to ya ‘cause I saw ya were hurtin’ and all I wanted to do, was make ya smile. Ya can tell me now, to let go of ya hand; and I will.” He said determinedly, his lips quirking into the far too familiar, dangerous crooked grin which set Taylor’s heart to racing. “I ain’t gonna expect or demand, anythin’ ya don’t want yaself. If bein’ ya friend is all that’s on the table... Well, I’ll still consider myself a lucky guy; and proud that I was there to see ya stand up for yaself and kick the deadweight to the curb.” He said earnestly, as Taylor sucked in a deep breath and held it, his eyes lowering to his feet as he tried to regain control of his racing heart.

“I...” He began, pausing to try and organize his thoughts into something coherent. “I...” He tried again, sighing in frustration and raising his hands to Jake’s chest, gritting his teeth as he fisted the material and jostled the pilot slightly. “God, you drive me nuts.” He complained, his irritation spiking as he failed to find the words to accurately express himself. He frowned up at Jake, who raised a brow at him in surprise, his hands coming to rest lightly upon his hips; unwittingly sparking an electrical buzz beneath Taylor’s skin. “What is it about you?” Taylor demanded, his breath quickening as his frustration mounted, his heart clamouring within his chest. “Ever since I met you, everything I’ve tried to do has gone sideways! Ever since I met you, I’ve wanted things I haven’t in ages! Why you?! What do you...” Taylor choked, his hysteria bubbling as his eyes flit rapidly between the pilot’s, his fingers curling tighter into Jake’s t-shirt. “Why do I...” He babbled, his frustration fading as he bit his lip, his cheeks flaring with warmth. “How can I-“

Jake’s kiss was hardly a surprise, the man leaning closer slowly to press his lips to Taylor’s as he struggled to give voice to the multitude of thoughts swirling through his head. Despite watching the other man’s approach, tilting his head back to meet him halfway, Taylor couldn’t suppress the small hum which escaped his throat, his heart racing as his fingers clutched almost desperately at Jake’s t-shirt. _Oh god... he killed me, and this is both heaven and hell._ Taylor thought distantly, barely aware of his own mental rambling as he kissed Jake with every ounce of emotion he held in his heart; their passionate exchange far more tender than Taylor remembered either of their previous kisses being. He whined in protest when Jake began to withdraw, arching closer and instead deepening the kiss for a frantic heartbeat longer, before allowing the pilot to pull away; both panting lightly as they locked themselves into a tense but silent communication.

“Ain’t no rush, Boy Scout.” Jake finally huffed, his hand squeezing Taylor’s hip, before curling fully around his waist to draw him closer, nuzzling his nose into his hairline. “Take some time, get used to just bein’ yaself again; rediscoverin’ yaself, how _you_ wanna be.” He said, stroking Taylor’s back as he bit his lip and peered up at Jake thoughtfully.

“I...” Taylor exhaled a shaky sigh, licking his lips quickly before looking back up at Jake pleadingly. “I want to give this a go... I don’t want to, well to seem like I’m trading one model for another... but, I just...” He huffed, freeing one hand as Jake watched him with a small grin. “As annoying as you are... I really don’t want to, I don’t want to stop; t-to _not_ do this.” He stuttered awkwardly, as Jake snickered softly and knocked their foreheads together. “Just, I-I want...” He trailed off, his heart in his throat as Jake drew back just enough to meet his eyes with a playful, knowing smirk.

“Whaddaya want, Boy Scout?” He asked, though Taylor was well aware the pilot already knew what he wanted. He squirmed, his temperature soaring as Jake sighed and looked at the ceiling in exasperation briefly. “Look, Taylor... ya pretty much just said ya wanna gimme a chance to treat ya right, yeah?” He clarified, raising a brow when Taylor’s tight grip on his t-shirt loosened slightly, his relief clear as he nodded slowly. “Well then, I ain’t goin’ anywhere. I don’t care how long it takes, I don’t care if ya never wanna have sex or anythin’ else... I’ll take that chance to show ya that ya worth the time and effort to romance and... all that, sappy bullshit.” He said, his cheeks dusting as he cleared his throat awkwardly. “So, I repeat. Whaddaya want?”

Taylor stared at Jake uncomprehendingly for a long moment, confusion rife in his eyes until he blinked; a slow smile spreading across his face as he leaned closer to Jake’s chest again. "Right now?" He murmured lowly, his heart aching with hope as he determined to look forward at the open future before him. “... I want you to kiss me again.” He said quietly, his smile growing as Jake snorted and affectionately cupped his cheek with his palm. As their lips met with passion and hunger, Taylor felt his heart give a hopeful lurch, yearning for the pilot to prove the sincerity of his declaration. He couldn’t wipe the smile from his face, a giggle erupting from his throat as Jake’s kisses tapered to his throat. His heart leapt, his arms curling around the pilot’s shoulders and holding him close as the other man’s attentions turned gentler still, mere soft grazes of lips across skin which made him gasp. His eyes widened and then began to water with joy and affection, laughing quietly when Jake playfully whispered all too familiar; and oh so meaningful words against his skin.

“ _You’re gorgeous_...”


End file.
